


I could almost see my house, I could almost see the rest of my life

by emjam



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Arcades, Bad Parenting, Christmas, Fluff, Found Family, Genji wears Makeup, Graduation, Hanzo Redemption Arc, M/M, McCree Paints his Nails, OCs for McCree's Family, Some Chatlogs, The Shimadas' Father is Dead, Very Brief Homelessness, does this count as slowish burn?, friends to boyfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2019-11-18 07:58:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18116597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emjam/pseuds/emjam
Summary: Genji deals with his fading family relationships by sneaking out at night and staying away from home as much as possible. It's not perfect, but it works.Until he gets kicked out.Luckily, a new friend is kind enough to take him in.





	1. Chapter 1

Distinct, centered between the eyes, felt a bit like someone’s palm gently pushing his skull from the inside - that was definitely a sleep deprivation headache.

Genji was familiar with the feeling, but it didn’t make it any more enjoyable. Not by a long shot. The fluorescent lights in the classroom were searing his eyes, the yellowed texture on the walls was sad to look at, and everyone was awkwardly silent in an effort to avoid everyone else, which meant there wasn’t even anyone to talk to. It smelled like the floors had been aggressively swept and mopped that weekend, and there was already an impressive amount of pencils and strips of paper littered all over the cracked pale tile.

So, a normal morning, though his headache probably didn’t help. But staying up that late was worth it, and the arcade was open until, like, 1AM. Who could blame him for trying to have some fun?

He knew many who could, and kept pestering him, “Genji, when will you stop wasting your time,” “Genji, where are you going to college,” “Genji, when will you look presentable for once, one of your uncles wants to come see our sons,” whatever.

After this school year, he would be done.

He had been telling himself this over and over again for a month, since school started, a contesting mantra. No more droopy classrooms and relatives reprimanding him about grades. Whenever his mother yelled or his teachers gave him those aggravated looks, he just remembered that soon this part of his life would be over.

After high school? Well… He was just aiming for graduation at this point, a shining beacon at the end of the tunnel.

Everyone in his family told him the tunnel was much longer than that. Everyone asked him when he was going to join Hanzo, going to business school in the city. Everyone planned his tunnel for him. But at that point, it would be a tunnel with no end. So he grabbed the destination and planted it far closer to him, a big neon sign that said “end of high school,” not “getting a masters” or “joining the family business.”

Who knew how long he would be allowed that.

Genji groaned and ran a hand over his face, eyelids heavy.

_Clink. Clink._

That sounded like… what _did_ that sound like?

Reluctantly, Genji pried open his eyes, half-heartedly trying to find the source where it hid at the front of the room. Brown cowboy boots were the answer, boots with legitimate spurs on them.

Hm.

He followed those boots to their owner, a kid he had never seen before who was currently talking to the homeroom teacher, back turned to him. He appeared to have the getup to match - denim, flannel, and hat. Genji couldn’t help but be reminded of the guys that mod their used trucks for maximum loudness and drive around their school parking lot like anyone actually thinks it’s cool that they keep hunting rifles in the back.

Interest lost, he put his head down, closing his eyes and trying to soak up the measly seven minutes left in homeroom before he was forced to move.

The sound of shaking spurs returned and got louder until the empty seat next to Genji creaked loudly.

“I like your hair.”

There was a drawl there that surprised Genji enough to drag his head up. Well, that and the novelty of anyone speaking to anyone else at this hour.

Then he actually took a look at the stranger.

Long hair, slight scruff, and dark brown eyes looked back. The cowboy attire actually wasn’t even remotely tacky on him - it suited him unreasonably well. He was resting a tanned cheek on one of his fists, and Genji could spot chipped sky-blue nail polish on his hands.

“Thanks,” Genji replied, running his hand through his neon-green hair. “I redyed it yesterday.”

The kid hummed in response, and then leaned back, kicking up his genuine cowboy boots onto the desk. He started examining his nails, boredly picking at a chipping corner. “Name’s Jesse. What’s yours?”

“Genji. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I go here.”

“Yeah, but I mean, you’re not in this homeroom.”

“Sure am. Just moved here.” Jesse pulled a chip of blue from his left forefinger and flicked it somewhere.

“After the year started? That sucks.”

Jesse shrugged. “S’alright. Things were getting a bit weird back home, so…”

“Where are you from?”

“New Mexico.”

That was pretty far from Pennsylvania. Genji opened his mouth to ask -

The harsh bell screeched, disrupting everyone’s sleepy half-aware consciousness.

“See you ‘round, then.” McCree threw his booted feet to the ground, hauled up his ratty bookbag, and promptly left. Genji blinked and could only head to his own class.

* * *

The jingling of spurs returned in Genji’s afternoon English class.

“Hiya m’am, I’m new.” Jesse was standing at the teacher’s desk in all his Western glory, very loudly chewing gum, thumbs sticking out of his pockets.

Neat.

Genji watched from the back of the room as Mrs. Himan squinted at him and did some tapping on her keyboard. She intensely read an email she opened, and then turned back to Jesse. “You’re Jesse McCree, right?”

“That’s me.”

“Alright. Here’s a vocabulary book.” She reached beneath her desk for a slim textbook and handed it to the new student. “Sit wherever you like, and talk to me after class so we can get you caught up.”

Jesse nodded and began to walk away.

“And no hats, please.”

He grasped the brim of his hat as if he were about to take it off, then just tipped it at the woman. She glared at him, and he put his hands up in surrender. “Just bein’ respectful. Yeesh.”

She seemed to let it go, because Jesse made his way to the back of the room and joined Genji without any repercussions, hat still on his head. “What’re you guys doin’ in here?” Jesse asked, leaning back in his new seat with arms crossed as Mrs. Himan began to go over some vocabulary quiz or other.

What was up with this guy? Not that Jesse was bothersome so far, but Genji just wanted to get some sleep in class, go home, and get ready to go out. Most people in his classes weren’t this… talkative.

“I honestly don’t know.” Genji sighed and looked at his phone. “I think we’re reading Hamlet but I lost my copy, so I pretty much gave up after that.”

“Oh.” A moment passed where the only sounds were the chatter in the front of the room and a pop of Jesse’s gum. Genji wondered if maybe he could catch some shut-eye without Mrs. Himan finding out. Probably not - she was likely watching the new kid like a hawk right now, especially since he was pretty hard to miss. He stuck out like a sore thumb amongst all the sweatpants and plain t-shirts.

“That’s a pretty fancy phone you’ve got there. What is it?”

Genji had no interest in flaunting his family’s wealth, but it was kind of hard when they insisted on updating his phone every year even though it would be completely fine to leave it alone for at least a while. He slid it back into his pocket. “iPhone XS.”

“Neat. I’ve just got one of those old ones with a sliding keyboard.” Jesse didn’t seem embarrassed at all when he pulled out a thick phone that fit neatly in his palm, using his thumb to push the display up and show the QWERTY keyboard.

“Sweet, can I take a look?” He hadn’t seen one of those in ages, and short of a threat on his life, Genji couldn’t think of a single thing that would get him to pay attention in class right now.

“No phones in class, Jesse,” Mrs. Himan suddenly piped from the front of the room.

Jesse deadpanned, “Not to be rude, ma'am, but this thing might as well be a brick.”

When the teacher sent him to the office, he bowed to Genji on his way out, and Genji couldn’t help but laugh.

* * *

“I’m home,” Genji called out to the huge, empty house, just in case.

No answer as usual, only the sunbeams shining through the grand windows and catching rare specks of dust.

The floor’s creaking echoed through the many closets, decorated halls, side-rooms, multiple living rooms, and stairwells. Much of the house was scarcely used, but dust was never allowed to settle just in case his mother decided to host something, or Hanzo decided to visit home all of a sudden despite his stark months-long absence. While Hanzo was clearly their family’s puppet from his employment in their business to the way he dressed, Genji liked to think that he was just as sick of their mother as Genji was.

Immediately shutting and locking his door, he tossed his bag next to it, pulled out his phone, and texted a few friends. Then, he meandered into the bathroom attached to his room and put on eyeliner with a pencil and a deft hand. Blinking, staring, he considered the job done and shoved his phone and wallet into the pocket of his windbreaker.

With his brother moved out, it was better to be sparse so that his mother didn’t catch him and decide to have a conversation. Easy, when no one was home, but sometimes she wouldn’t be out with friends or on business trips, and instead be here.

Sleep deprivation, with all its annoyances and headaches, was quite welcome if it meant another few hours of nothing.

Leaving the bathroom, he disarmed the lock they kept reinforcing on his window and shoved it open, strong October air rushing in. He would go to the arcade, maybe end up at a friend’s house, and climb back in somewhere between midnight and 2AM. Then, he would get up late to do it all over again after school the next day.

It wasn’t the best, but it was something.

He slipped out and left his home behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

The nail polish was different again this week. Last week it was plain black, after Jesse had removed - manually, with regular scraping using his hands - the sky blue Genji knew from the first time they met. Now it was a burnt orange that matched well with the faded blue plaid Jesse wore today. He was already peeling it absentmindedly while the homeroom teacher in the front droned on about some assembly that would happen later in the day. Genji watched as a few burnt flecks of polish landed haphazardly on Jesse’s desk.

“Why do you paint them, just to mess them up?”

Jesse shrugged. “I dunno. I like paintin’ ‘em more than I care to keep up with ‘em.”

“Oh.”

“You doin’ anything later?” He asked, pulling his hands apart to drum his fingers on the desk. It always seemed like he was moving, even if just tapping his foot.

Genji’s mouth quirked upwards to hide his surprise. “Oh? You like me that much, huh?” The suggestive tone rolled easily off his tongue, as it had many times before. He even routinely flirted with Angela when they weren’t as close, but then Fareeha admitted that she was interested in her, and Genji figured any further joking would be in poor taste.

“Maybe I do,” Jesse drawled back, sending a confident and knowing side-glance Genji’s way, and then looking back to the front of the room. He was leaning back in his chair, slouching down comfortably, hat sitting low on his head. Genji’s shocked silence drew out a quick laugh from him. “Ha, jus’ messin’ with ya. I wanted to know if you wanna hang out after school today. I don’t have anything after school for once. Thought it’d be fun.”

“Sure,” he quickly agreed, already eager to have even a semblance of plans for the night. Fareeha and Angela have both been caught up in other things lately, meaning it was harder for Genji to find a reason to be away from home. Sure, he could go out by himself, which he wasn’t a stranger to, but you have fun quicker with people you know.

Turns out, Jesse didn’t have a truck, contrary to Genji’s first impressions. The small beater car in the front was his, and he was very proud of it. “Long as I treat it right, it gets me where I’m goin’, and that’s all I need,” he had said as they climbed the three dipping wooden stairs up to the front porch. The quaint little house felt cozy even at first glance. The front door opened into an already well-used living room, which embodied the ‘living’ aspect much more than Genji’s two supposed ‘living’ rooms - games and toys were strewn about an ancient couch, and framed photos adorned the windowsills. A few lone moving boxes were still stacked in one corner. From that room, Genji could look through the kitchen and the back door into the small fenced-off yard, where a single tree bore the weight of a homemade swing. “That's been there since we got here,” Jesse had commented. “We're keepin’ it around ‘less one of my siblings gets hurt on it.”

Genji took in the new sights and sounds readily, asking questions about the beach photos with a tiny Jesse in them.

“That was before my ma had Sophie and Michael. It was just us then. You have any siblings, Genji?”

“An older brother. But he always has a stick up his ass,” and they both laughed, even if Genji’s was a little strained.

When Jesse was done with the impromptu tour, Genji sunk into the couch, finding one of its various dips to settle into as Jesse plugged two controllers into the Gamecube that was sitting on the floor. The couch was comfortable and smelled like it lived in the house forever - they must have brought it with them from New Mexico or it came with the house, or something. It was broken into. It was nice.

He jolted when Jesse plopped a controller into his lap.

“Did I just fall asleep?” Genji said.

“For two seconds there, yeah. Did you even get a wink last night?” Familiar blocks tumbled around the TV screen as the Gamecube startup tune played. Genji vaguely remembered having a Gamecube for two seconds before his family upgraded to something new, but it was apparently Jesse’s whole childhood.

“You know me, I never do.” It was true; Jesse’s had to prod Genji awake more than a few times so that he would leave homeroom even remotely on time.

Jesse brought his controller with him as he walked back to curl up cross-legged on the couch beside Genji. _Mario Kart: Double Dash_ music soon drifted out of the TV speakers. “What could you possibly be doin’ round this boring town that takes all night?” He and Genji quickly set up a game.

“Arcade, mostly. Sometimes I go to a friends’.”

“There’s an arcade round here? Shoot, I should try it out.”

“You really should. I’ve been maintaining my high scores there for years.”

Jesse hummed. “Your parents must be real relaxed to let you go out so late ‘n so often.” It wasn’t judgemental, just a statement - one which Genji couldn’t help but let out a brief laugh to. ‘Relaxed’ was not how Genji would put things. The game started, Jesse nailing the charge-up on his speed perfectly while Genji backfired and slid back in the race placements.

“My mother isn’t a fan, but she’s barely home anyways. And if she is, it’s to tell me what to change. Telling me to dye my hair back, get my physics grade up, or whatever.”

“An’ your dad?”

The sudden discomfort was stifling in the silence that drew out between Jesse’s words and his. “He passed a couple years ago,” Genji muttered, Gamecube controller sticks clicking violently.

Jesse’s response was a soft murmur. “‘M sorry to hear that.”

The air was starting to have a sludge-like quality as it filtered into Genji’s lungs. “You know, you could come to the arcade with some of my friends sometime, if you want. We hang out kind of late, but we don’t have to,” Genji quickly rambled, words tumbling out.

Thankfully, Jesse took the bait.

“I’ve gotta help my ma out a lot, and I just got that job at the convenience store, but maybe sometime I’ll take you up on that.”

“Cool, just let me know.” He squinted at the screen. “Wait, how are you in first place?”

“Well, first of all, you suck at this,” Jesse laughed. “Ain’t you in eighth?”

Genji gripped his controller with determination. “Oh, I won’t be soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter.. they get longer tho


	3. Chapter 3

Heavy bass pounded as Jesse and Genji meandered around bright neon arcade game casings. Screens and shiny plastic throughout the arcade were tinted blue, green, and purple in slow succession with the gentle rotating and transforming of the overhead colored lights. They stopped in-between a scratched-up air hockey table and a glowing DDR setup.

Jesse shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around. “They could stand to turn this down a bit.”

“Honestly, I actually like it.” The thumping bass of the generic EDM blasting through the arcade speakers was just quiet enough that they didn’t have to shout over it if they were close enough together.

“It’s ‘cause you’ve acclimated, ya heathen.”

Genji snorted. “Maybe.”

“Genji!” A girl shouted from across the arcade. There was someone else behind her. The two both waved as they crossed over to where Jesse and Genji waited.

“Fareeha! Angela!” Genji met them halfway, Jesse hanging back behind him. He hugged them both at once. “I feel like we haven’t hung out in decades,” he groaned when they all parted.

“I _know_.” Fareeha rolled her eyes. The changing lights reflected cool tones off of the hair ornaments that subtly swung with her movements. “I’ve been trying to tell my mom I’m going into the Air Force, but she doesn’t want to hear it, so she’s got me doing all this extra college prep stuff ‘just in case’. But I’m here now, so.”

Angela looked beyond Genji’s shoulder. “Hello! I don’t think we’ve met. My name’s Angela.” Genji backed up so that they could all form a little circle.

“Howdy, Angela, nice to meet ya. The name’s Jesse.” And he tipped his hat.

Jesse just said _howdy_. Genji couldn’t tell if that was endearing or not... but he found himself kind of liking it.

Jesse turned to Fareeha. “What’s your name?”

“Fareeha,” she reported. “Nice to meet you.”

All three of Genji’s friends fell into simple conversation as they worked their way towards a slew of fighting games that lined a back wall, the strip of screens projecting a vast array of changing pixels and colors that lit up the dim arcade. A huge grin spread over Genji’s face at the sight of a pure monolith clad in scuffed yellow casing and spanning multiple screens. It was larger than the surrounding single-screen games, an impressive lemony beacon in the dark of the back wall. He automatically took the lead in the group and started striding in its direction.

“Oh, this one’s fun,” Angela commented as the group stopped at the span of arcade screens that made up the game.

Fareeha groaned. “I thought we had enough of this last time.”

Jesse sauntered up to one of the clusters of controls. “ _X-Men,_ huh?”

“A fan-favorite,” Genji replied. Fareeha scoffed lightly at that, but pulled out her quarters along with everyone else and chunked them into the machine.

They played for a good while. Genji took great care to _not_ stare at Jesse’s adorable focusing face, the one where his tongue barely pokes out of his mouth and he furrows his brow. Fareeha’s character died fairly early on, so she happily sat out and shouted encouragements over the music. Jesse was next, and soon it was just Genji going up against Magneto’s minions. He was staring into the screen with a focus that felt like home to him, familiar with the feeling of the faded buttons at his fingertips.

Something unfamiliar and sort-of soft roughly slapped onto his head. “Hey, what the hell!” His narrow concentration was severed. Giving a final death-cry, his character collapsed on the ground at the final jab of an enemy. He reached up to feel what was on his head, hearing Jesse’s snickering behind him, and pulled it down. Jesse’s hat.

A rough hand reached into his line of sight to grasp at the brim. He slapped at Jesse. “No, you gave it to me, now I’m keeping it.” He replaced the hat on his head, smashing the green of his hair down, leaving some errant strands sitting awkwardly on his forehead. When he turned back to Jesse, it was with a teasing smirk.

“Well!” He announced to all three friends. “It is now -” he checked the time - “eight, so what do you all want to do now?”

They ended up crowding around each other to take turns on single-player games, elbowing and pushing each other to get a proper view.

“Aw, damn,” Jesse groaned at his attempt at _Space Invaders_ , tossing his hat on the game’s controls, the words GAME OVER flashing on the screen. Sounds of defeat similarly echoed from the tightly-packed cheer squad - Genji, Angela, and Fareeha - behind him. He dejectedly put in J.M for the scoring list.

Genji jumped at the sight of the scores. His bony elbow banged into Fareeha’s forearm, but her hurt exclamation went ignored. “Whoever SRA is, they beat my score for this one too. I was in first for _years!_ ”

“I have to say, that’s impressive,” Angela conceded, despite the question of how important arcade scores really were. “Maybe they’re going after every game here.”

“Wow, they should get a life, then,” Genji casually responded.

Fareeha and Angela both gave him the same looks.

“What?” He shrugged. “Just because I spend all my time here, doesn’t mean other people should.”

Fareeha and Angela turned to Jesse, who just shrugged as well _._ “I mean, he’s right.” The end of his sentence turned into an unusually long yawn that couldn’t be fully hidden by his hand.

“Are you tired, Jesse?” Angela inquired.

He waved her off. “What time is it again?”

“Almost nine.”

“Alright.” He hoisted his jacket off his arm and pulled it on. “Thanks for the fun. I really gotta be goin’ now, but it was nice meetin’ you two.” Angela and Fareeha made noises of agreement.

“Oh, wait.” Genji pulled the hat off of his head and carefully fixed it onto Jesse’s. He backed up so that he wasn’t completely invading personal space. “Want me to walk back with you?” A twinge of guilt stirred in the pit of his stomach; he hadn’t noticed the bags under Jesse’s eyes before, but now the exhaustion was obvious.

“Aw, thanks sugar, but no thanks. I’m glad ya told me ‘bout this place.” He pointed a singular finger gun at Genji. “I’ll see ya later.” And then he _winked._

Genji watched Jesse’s retreating form as it pushed through the double doors in the front. He finally mustered up the energy to swallow. “Angela, you’re going to be a doctor, right? Because I think I need immediate medical attention, holy _shit_.” He practically fell into the arms of a giggling Angela.

“Yes,” she laughed, supporting him with bent arms. “Seems like you have a severe case of ‘the hots’.”

He snorted, the sound muffled by his arm draped across his face. “Faree, can I stay at your place tonight?” He could already imagine the coarse carpets and the grayish-blue couch he had crashed on many nights before. A picture of the many wide, curtained windows in her living room was fresh and soft in his mind. It spoke of comfort.

Fareeha rolled her eyes, but kindly pulled him out of Angela’s arms. “Another minute, and she would have dropped you, you know.”

“No she would not,” Genji insisted.

“Yes, I would've,” Angela confirmed.

“But yeah, you can stay the night,” Fareeha said. “My mom loves you anyways.”

Genji smiled at that. After another half-an-hour or so of messing around and getting sodas, Fareeha gave Angela a kiss goodbye, and they left.

It was raining.

The thunder couldn’t be heard in the arcade, so closed off with a cacophony of noises and an impressive collection of deeply-tinted windows. Now, the storm was gently rumbling as it opened in the sky. The pattering it made on Fareeha’s roof was familiar and comfortable. They tiptoed into a quiet house, soaking wet from the walk to the front door and careful not to disturb even the shadows. If Fareeha’s mom was woken up, Genji would again experience pure Amari wrath, and even though love was sprinkled in there somewhere, he would prefer not to endure a repeat performance.

“Thanks,” Genji whispered.

“No problem,” Fareeha whispered back. “Go dry yourself off in the bathroom and stop dripping everywhere.” It was a command, but it held some affection. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Thunder sounded off in the distance as Genji burrowed into the living room couch with a spare blanket. Flashes of lightning could barely be seen in the slivers of window visible between the thick living room curtains. It was dark, the storm smothering everything, and Genji found himself being lulled to sleep at an appropriate hour for once. He fell into a deeper rest, calmed by the rain outside and the heaviness of the quilt on top of him that pushed him deeper into the crease of the couch.

It was November, now. The thought struck distant anxiety in his chest. The more time passed, the worse things would get. He knew there were things he should be doing… But all that faded away in the coziness of the thunderstorm. As his mind wandered between dreams and wakefulness, sleepy thoughts drifted in and out like a flaky radio reception.

Did Fareeha’s mom quilt? She didn’t seem like the type of person, but Fareeha might have mentioned it once.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

Genji shot up, heart pounding. The couch loudly protested. The aggressive, demanding knocks ran goosebumps up and down his arms.

It was the front door. Who could possibly be trying to get the Amaris so late at night?

The knocks came again. _Bang. Bang. Bang._ They were consistent, orderly. Genji flew out from under the quilt, socks hitting the hardwood floors as he jogged to Fareeha’s room.

“Psst. Hey. Faree.”

An annoyed groan emitted from the dark lump on the bed that must be Fareeha. “What, Genji? We have school tomorrow.”

“I know, but someone is knocking on your door.”

“What, right now?”

“Yes.”

They both crept to the front door, socked feet narrowly avoiding creaky panels of flooring. The foggy glass window set in the door was no help in seeing outside. All that could be discerned was a looming figure.

“Maybe it’s just a solicitor,” he joked. She merely gave him a cynical look and opened the door.

“Hello?” Fareeha said. Genji, on the other hand, said nothing. His tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth, desperately pressing into the tissue there in shock.

Hanzo.

The man stood in perfect posture on the porch, raincoat drenched, sheets of water sloughing off. It glistened in the porch light. Long black hairs clung to his damp face. His expression was stern and told of long-lasting exhaustion.

Genji swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. He hadn’t seen his brother in months. Hanzo looked… bad.

“Hello,” Hanzo returned politely, then fixed a sharp eye on his brother. “I am here for Genji.”

“Why?” He let out before he could stop himself.

“Our mother requests that you come home immediately. She is not happy with you.”

“But -”

“ _Immediately_.”

And just like when they were children, that tone shut him up. It was used only in serious matters, only when Genji needed to grow up for at least a second, only when Genji needed to dial back his everything and be at least remotely pleasing. No, it did not always work, but here and now, and with how unexpected Hanzo’s arrival was… The look in his brother’s eyes - the same angry disappointment that their mother usually wore - was enough to make him go.

He climbed into the discreet dark car and let it swallow him whole.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god damn sorry this took so long! I do have this whole thing written, but for some reason updating this fic gives me mad anxiety lol

The rain drenched them both as Hanzo and Genji marched like tired soldiers to the ornate front door. Genji hung back and let Hanzo push the door open, selfishly using him as a shield. Now that he was going inside, he realized he would rather stand out here in the pouring rain.

Bright light flooded Genji’s senses. He and his brother were dripping water in the front hallway, hanging lights humming above them. The rest of the house lay past the end of the front hall. The living room that it opened up to was shrouded in darkness. Right before the hallway’s end stood their mother dead ahead, layers of shadows behind her. Her arms were crossed and her face was permanently set into a scowl. Like a statue. Genji wasn’t even sure she was breathing.

His mouth became a desert.

“I will go now,” Hanzo stated, and turned back to the door to leave. _Take me with you_ , Genji thought, even though they weren’t close anymore, and hadn’t spoken in what must be over a month.

“No, Hanzo.” At their mother’s stony voice, Hanzo predictably stopped in his tracks. Genji forced himself not to turn and look as his brother swivelled around, sleek black shoes squeaking on the ceramic tile, and stepped forward, hands behind his back. He promptly stopped next to their mother and became a statue as well. His posture was perfect. Everything about him was, even though Genji could see the bags under his eyes and could still hear how loud the silence was during the drive here.

Now they were both facing Genji: the run-down brother and the infuriated mother. An image of Hanzo’s white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel came to him.

“Genji, sit.”

Even though there was a chair a couple feet away, he did not. Instead, he snarked, heart hammering in his chest all the same, “I was about to go to sleep, so I would really like to know why I was dragged here.”

His mother’s eyes were cold. “The deadline was today.”

Oh.

Genji had never been doused in ice water before, but this seeping chill must be similar.

“For what?” Not that the ‘avoidance’ tactic had done him well so far, probably why he was in trouble in the first place, but.

“The application,” she said with impersonal simplicity. “I even had most of it filled out for you, and yet you still failed to turn it in.”

“Maybe because I don’t want to go there, that might be a novelty idea.” Was this what it felt like to die? Because his body was _freaking out_ right now. His chest cavity felt like it was slowly being dragged to the ground.

Their mother shook her head. “You have not made any plans for the future, Genji. I do not understand why you fail in these tasks. The least you could do is take what we have offered, especially in the interest of the family.”

“No, the least _you_ could do is begin to understand that I do not want to go to some business school!” Genji raised his voice, hands shaking but words firm. “I know what you want for me, but I don’t care. I do not _care_ if you choose another place or even fund everything because I will not be doing anything associated with this family. Hanzo can be CEO someday or whatever if he wants, but this is not what _I_ want.”

Hanzo’s eye twitched, but he remained silent.

“What is your plan, then?” She fired back, some heat slipping from under her cool exterior. “At least if you work within the family, there is security and purpose. What else will you do?”

“I don’t know, live? I mean, does Hanzo seem perfectly happy to you?” He spat.

At this, his brother’s face crinkled slightly, only a minor deviation from his usual inexpression. He began to open his mouth.

“Hanzo is perfectly fine,” their mother shut down with conviction. “He is currently on a very successful path. What I’m concerned with is you. What is your plan?”

“ _I don’t know!_ ” Fuck, Genji’s hands were really shaking. This was the first time he actually felt his anger in a long while, having chased it off with arcade visits and sleep and fuck-all - hello, avoidance - and it _burned_. “Maybe a gap year or community college?” And before the next words even came out as if they were trying to jump from his mouth, he knew that they shouldn’t be said, preemptively felt the desperation that would come as he knew he couldn’t pull them back. “I just don’t want to be _here_.”

He wanted to say that there was something wrong with the way Hanzo got quieter and more scarce in the past few years, or the way their family scrambled to hold the business together in any way possible after their father’s death, or the way the love was sucked out of their mother, but his throat tightened painfully in self-defense.

Lines of stress deepened on their mother’s forehead, swiftly smoothed away with control. “Well,” and the word was limp in a way, “if that is truly how you feel, I will not allow you in this house until I decide it is time for you to come back.”

“What?” It was a mere whisper. Genji would have shouted, but something weird was happening to his voice.

Hanzo’s eyes widened in shock, finally expressing a living emotion. “Mother -”

“Did I ask for your opinion?” When Hanzo said nothing more, the feathers so easily ruffled settled again, and she sighed. “It should not come as a surprise. Time and time again, you have been reckless and inconsiderate to your family and your future. I hope you reflect on this while you are gone. When you have spent enough time away, I will contact you, and we can reconsider your options.”

Options?

Everything sounded like Genji was underwater. There were meanings to the words she had said, but something in him refused to process them yet. He stood there blankly.

“Hanzo, get his things.”

Stiff and stilted, Hanzo looked from Genji to their mother and to Genji again. Parted his lips and then shut them. He disappeared into the rest of the house, presumably to do what he was told.

Genji was being kicked out.

He could see his mother in front of him, but not really. He felt more than saw the overnight bag and bookbag being shoved into his hands. He turned to his brother, but Hanzo had swiftly and silently resumed his position beside their mother.

“Where will I go?” He asked the room.

“Away from here. That is what you wanted, isn’t it?” There was a faint hint of bitterness in her voice that touched Genji through his numb nerves.

He looked to the beautifully tiled, cold floor and the embroidered chairs set up in the hall, and then up at the hanging lighting. The darkness of the rest of the house was chilling.

He looked to Hanzo, but Hanzo’s downcast gaze did not turn to him.

Genji did not say anything. He gripped the straps of his bags, white-knuckled, and left.

* * *

 

No one was answering. Genji was soaking wet and just wanted to close his eyes.

“Genji? What’re you doing here?” A sleepy-eyed Jesse answered the door.

Genji blinked the rain out of his eyes. “I just missed you so much already that I figured I would come and visit.” There was no emotion. The joke fell so flat that if it were tangible it would have crashed uproariously into the concrete, and he winced at the imaginary sound.

“Well, ain’t it a bit far past midnight for that?” Jesse replied, playing along but still warily eyeing him.

He really, really felt bad about this. But if his family wanted to, they could easily find him at Fareeha’s or Angela’s, knowing that they’ve been friends for years. Hanzo found him there because his mother knew Genji frequently slept there. He didn’t want them to find him again. He didn’t want anyone to come after him. Instinct led him here.

Genji looked down. “I am really sorry about this.” He bit the inside of his cheek and dragged the words, small and tired, out of him. “My mom kicked me out. Can I come in?”

Shock momentarily played out on Jesse’s face, but then he was gesturing him inside. “Of course. Just be quiet,” he whispered. “Jesus Christ, Genji, it’s too nasty out for your mom’s nonsense. The hell was she thinking, puttin’ you out in the rain like this?”

“I thought you said to be quiet.” Distanced amusement colored his words.

“Oh, yeah.” He lowered his rising voice.

“Is it okay if I use your bathroom and then, uh, use your couch?” Genji winced. “I apologize.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll explain to my ma. Just get some rest.”

By the time Genji was dry and lying down, there was no energy left to worry. He fell into a dead sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Wherever he was, it was warm and extremely comfortable. Somewhere he heard murmurs of high-pitched voices and shuffling feet, but when he cracked an eye open to darkness, it seemed more useful to just sink back into sleep.

Eventually, soft sunlight prodded Genji to a slow awakening. He finally opened his eyes, getting an eyeful of brown where his face was smashed into the couch. There was a scratchiness to the blanket around him, but he pulled it tighter anyways.

The sun landed in bar shapes through the blinds, unassuming and quiet. There was no sound or motion, nothing but his body pressing into the worn sofa and his legs curled up in front of his chest. For that moment, Genji could appreciate the feeling of waking up. He ran a thumb over the wool covering him.

It was a nice blanket, in his opinion. Not too uncomfortable for its material. The little tan tassels at the ends were a nice touch. He accounted for the stripes on the fabric, running his eyes down the blanket’s length one at a time - red, blue, green, red, blue, green, not thinking...

His stomach suddenly tightened. Residual apprehension filtered through his sleepy haze and made his hands tighten around the blanket. Taking one deep breath, he dragged himself into a sitting position, and immediately felt ill. He leaned forward, dropping his head so that it hung over his knees, wrapped his arms around his waist, and just sat there. After the wave subsided some, he rubbed a palm over his face and scooted to the edge of the couch, staring at the coffee table in front of him and how the coloring books strewn across its surface had pages torn out. His phone sat innocently next to them.

As if it pained him to do so, he slowly reached out after an infinity and grazed the device with his fingers, pulling it closer to him. He slid it off the table and held it in his palm like it was about to explode. Hesitantly, he pushed the _on_ button.

The nothingness in his throat was suddenly being rejected as it closed desperately around air.

_7 missed calls from Mom_.

He might as well have been physically punched in the gut. The timestamps were from around 10:30 last night, before Hanzo had gotten him.

Hastily swiping the notification away, a slew of chat notifications took its place. He shut his eyes for just a moment, then opened them.

Fareeha: hey genj are you ok?

Fareeha: your brother seemed mad

Fareeha: if you don’t mind me asking, what happened?

Fareeha: text me in the morning ok night

Fareeha: genjiiii where are you?

Fareeha: angela wants to know too

Fareeha: pls text when you get these

Genji hated crying.

Everything broke through him at once, everything that was once swept under the rug - anger, fear, dread, all which was pushed down in favor of another few minutes hanging out with friends and staying away from that big empty house. Instinctively, he shut off the screen and dropped the phone on the coffee table with a loud clatter. He leaned on his knees, hands tightly clasped, looking away from the phone screen and focusing hard on the blurry gray of the TV screen that wouldn’t become sharp, because the tears wouldn’t go away.

There wasn’t a precedent for this. He’s never experienced anything similar. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, he was still dependent, his bank account was connected to his mother’s, and his phone plan, and all his _stuff_ that was still in his room there.

What the hell was he going to do? He couldn’t even go to Hanzo about this now - Hanzo with his empty movements and silent indifference. And their father was the one that rooted for him, but he was dead. And in the back of his mind loomed a more imposing figure and question and problem than ever before: the future.

Suddenly, he couldn’t remember how to move.

_Okay, okay, just respond to Fareeha, she saw that you saw the text and she’s probably worried._ Desperately inhaling and exhaling in an attempt to calm himself slightly, tears still slipped out as he shook himself and once again retrieved the phone.

Genji: well I’m not hurt

Genji; my mom kicked me out

Genji: so now I’m at Jesse’s because she doesn’t know him

A typing bubble popped up immediately.

Fareeha: WTF AND YOUR BROTHER TOOK YOU THERE?

Fareeha: wtf thank god for jesse

Genji: I don’t think Hanzo knew what was going to happen

Genji: Idk though. Just, idk

Fareeha: that’s horrible

Fareeha: idk what to even say we need to see each other asap

Fareeha: ik you won’t stay at my house but do you need anything?

Genji: Thanks, Fareeha

Genji: I don’t think so. But I’ll let you know

He left that conversation and tapped on a message from Jesse, apparently from this morning.

cute cowboy: hey after school ive gotta pick up my bro & sis from school & do some other chores so ill be back around 4:30ish just chill & idc if u eat stuff (just not the fruit snacks) have fun ;)

Despite everything, he smiled a little bit. He sent “thanks so much,” stood, and awkwardly wandered into the kitchen. There wasn’t much around other than dirty dishes, so he approached the fridge. It seemed like a safe bet. In the midst of the alphabet magnets and kid drawings on the door was a sticky note that said “GENJI” in big letters at the top.

_“Hey, there’s waffles in the fridge from this morning if you want some. Hugs, Joanna”_

A large smiley face took up the bottom portion of the note. Jesse’s mom was really nice.

Genji found himself holding back new tears while watching the microwave plate turn.

* * *

When the door opened that afternoon, it let in Jesse, two kids, and a _lot_ of chatter. Negotiation of homework and the TV drifted to where Genji stood in the kitchen, listlessly rearranging the dishes rack to fit just one more plastic kid’s cup and maybe a Disney princess plate.

“Are ya gonna use the Gamecube or can I?” Jesse’s younger brother asked.

“Sure, long as you actually don’t have any homework.”

Genji could hear the skepticism in his voice, and it gave him a flimsy smile. He turned back to the dish dilemma as the sound of Jesse’s spurs grew closer.

Jesse dropped a few bags of groceries on a bare strip of counter next to Genji, and raised his eyebrows when he saw the empty sink. “Hey, you didn’t have to do that.”

Genji shrugged. “You let me sleep here. I do not think this is too much to expect.” He didn’t have a lot of experience doing dishes at home - if they didn’t have maids, they had a dishwasher - but enough nights at Fareeha’s have made Genji grateful enough to learn how to actually clean up after himself and show respect.

“How long are you gonna be here?” Came an innocent third voice.

Jesse and Genji looked down at Sophia, who had pattered into the kitchen unnoticed.

“Well.” Jesse rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, uh, we don’t... know yet.” He looked at Genji, who tried his best to telepathically communicate a shrug.

“Oh, okay.” The girl didn’t seem to care all that much. She patted her hands against the cabinet doors she leaned against, and looked up at Jesse with an excited expression. “Can I have some fruit snacks?”

“Sure.” Jesse rummaged through an overhead cabinet and tossed a packet down to Sophia, who scampered away happily. “Don’t forget to throw out yer trash!” He shouted after her. Watching where she went for a moment, he then huffed like he had lost an argument and began pulling items out of the grocery bags.

Alienation touched Genji. He was suddenly out of place. Tall ceilings and cold, spacious rooms were what he thought of when he thought _home_ despite it all, but that was nothing like this. People actually lived here.

He kept his eyes on the drying rack and struggled to ask, “How did, uh, what did I miss in English?”

Jesse eyed him oddly, then shook his head and indulged. “Not much. We’re still tryin’ to get through that peer review thing, but everyone’s taking too long tryin’ to grade each other’s papers. It’s a right mess.”

Genji attempted a small laugh. “And Mrs. Himan is doing nothing to help the situation, I assume?”

“Ha, yeah. Sometimes I think she jus’ treats the school as her vacation home, sittin’ back and reading magazines the whole time.” Jesse put away one last box of cereal and mashed the plastic bags inside one big plastic bag with his hands, crouching down to shove the nested bags in the cabinet under the sink. “Listen, Genji.”

Oh no.

Jesse stood with some reluctance, rubbing his neck again, avoiding eye contact.

“Yeah?” Genji hoped against the odds. There was nothing he would rather talk about less than his mother, or his brother, or what comes next, or further beyond.

It must show somehow, because thankfully Jesse merely let some air escape through his nose, uncertain expression melting back into his familiar easy smile. “My ma’s comin’ home in about half an hour. Once she’s here, wanna go to the arcade?”

Nothing else was tacked onto the question, no _‘cause you just got kicked out and could use some fun,_ no _‘cause you’re probably a mess right now despite all attempts at the contrary._ They both tiptoed around it, which made Genji feel a little better, even if they were probably only going out because of those reasons.

“Are you up for it?” Genji questioned, finally plopping the remaining dishes on top of everything else and deciding that they’d stay in place. “I don’t want to impose.”

He waved his hand. “Don’ worry about it. I had fun last night. An’ it’s Friday, so ain’t there food discounts? At least, that’s what I thought I saw yesterday.”

Genji’s heart warmed an absurd amount at the fact that Jesse paid attention last night, enough to remember the discount sign the next day, of all things. He swallowed. “Sure.”

Jesse’s mom came home when he said she would, pushing the door open with a large purse and forcing her way in against the sudden chatter of her younger children. She gave Michael and Sophia warm smiles. “Tell me all about it in a moment, I gotta talk to your brother for a second.” She came over to the couch and tapped Jesse’s arm. Jesse got up and followed her into the kitchen, where they proceeded to have muted conversation.

They usually weren’t this quiet. Jesse could usually be heard across the school hallway, and his mom had experience speaking loud enough that a whole household would hear. Genji shifted uncomfortably from where he remained on the couch as the children bickered at the coffee table. He silently watched Jesse and Joanna talk in the other room, their backs to him, and tried in vain to figure out what they were saying. It was around ten minutes before the two emerged from the kitchen doorway.

“Hey, Genji, let’s go.”

Genji merely nodded. All the energy he had used to confront his mother last night seemed to have left him, and then some. If he didn’t speak for another five years it probably wouldn’t be long enough.

When searching the duffel bag he barely remembered getting, he found his spare pouch of quarters he kept especially for the arcade. The tiny felt drawstring bag had gotten there somehow. He didn’t want to think of Hanzo packing that (why did Hanzo let this happen and still have the presence to make sure he had his change with him? Why was Genji not _just_ angry at him? Why did - ) so he zipped up his bag without looking for jeans. Sweatpants were good enough for an arcade visit.

It was no surprise to learn that the arcade was in walking distance from Jesse’s house, considering Genji could walk to both places from his own.

They passed through the sleepy neighborhood on their way to the strip mall. Some people were sitting out on their porches even in the November chill, looking out at the rest of the town - just like Genji, who was watching the fences lumber on by as they walked. Jesse’s spurs clinked with each leisurely step, but the whole thing felt far from leisure for Genji.

“So. I didn’t wanna talk about this in front of my ma an’ them.”

Jesse was looking strictly at the sidewalk ahead, strands of hair threatening to guard his face from Genji’s view. Genji remained silent, mouth suddenly dry. He didn’t need to ask for an explanation. He already knew what they needed to talk about. In his mind, he was already drawing elaborate plans about where to go and what to do for the next few months, how to float by.

An audible exhale came from Jesse’s direction. “But it’s a needed conversation. An’ we’ll figure this out. You got anywhere else to stay?”

Genji wasn’t used to this, to Jesse’s quiet, direct tone. He thought, for a moment - but he had already turned this around in his head a million times since this morning, even subconsciously. He didn’t want his family to find him at Angela’s or Fareeha’s. They knew who and where those friends were.

He looked down at the cracked sidewalk. “I do not think so.” There was already a picture of him in his head, couchsurfing and drifting about. He checked earlier, and as of this morning he could no longer access his bank account. No matter how hard he thought about it, there wasn’t some sort of center to go to. He would have to figure out how to get to one if he found one.

“You wanna tell the police?”

Genji winced. “It wouldn’t make much of a difference. My family would pay away any consequences that come.” Besides, he would be turning eighteen before the school year was done, and then it wouldn’t really matter.

“Well, whatever you decide, I talked with my ma. You can stay with us till the school year’s out if you need to, but you’re gonna have to get a job. I might even be able to put in a good word for you at the convenience store. It’s what we were talkin’ about before we left. We just can’t afford feedin’ so many.”

What?

Genji stared harder at the concrete beneath him in an attempt to dispel the watery film that blurred it. Jesse’s words worked their way through his mind. Silence pent up behind his teeth for every second he didn’t respond. All those images of jumping from place to place, and trying to figure out school, and all the rest disappeared.

“Genji?”

Genji shook his head. “I can definitely get a job… if you and your mom do not mind me staying for a bit.”

“Course we don’t mind, we offered in the first place.”

“...Thank you.” Stubborn tears threatened to fall down his face. He clenched his jaw, lips tight, and wiped furiously at his cheeks as if he could catch the tears before they fell. It was a noble effort, but his breath hitched and betrayed him.

Jesse glanced over. “You alright?”

An embarrassingly wet burst of air shuddered out of his nose, and he squinted his eyes shut. “Yes.”

“Mm. Sounds like bull to me, but what do I know,” Jesse shrugged.

The wind ran a chill through them both. Why was Genji even trying to hide everything? Even out of his house he felt like a cowering child under his mother’s watchful eye, careful not to let out too much. For all his expression that she hated - dying his hair, wearing makeup - he never actually fully expressed how he felt. Well, it was all out now, for better or for worse. Genji’s mouth tightened further in anger - hot, seeping anger that crept out from its hiding place once more, sputtering alive from a blanket of numbness.

“It is. I hate her.”

“There ya go,” Jesse commented with satisfaction, turning his head to look at the lowering sun in the sky as Genji fumed beside him.

“And my brother too. He just sat there and watched everything happen as if we were never even brothers in the first place! He’s not even a person anymore, just some robot that tends to our family’s whims.” Genji started gesticulating with his hands, which sprung out of his pockets despite the cold.

“Wait, he was there too? Thought it was just your mom. I mean, Fareeha told me your brother took you there, but...”

“Yeah!” Everything pent-up from last night burst out of him. It felt so good to talk about it. “When my mother made her decision, he went and handed me my bag and everything. Barely even looked at me.”

“Wow. That’s sad.” He shook his head. “Gotta wonder what the hell’s goin’ on there.”

“I can tell you. He’s a zombie now - only explanation.” Genji deflated, rubbing his dry hands and sliding them back into his pockets, where he clenched the lining tightly. “It was over a college application, of all things, to a place I was not even interested in. The whole family wants me to follow in Hanzo’s footsteps, but his dedication to our company is destroying his life. He would say everything’s going ‘as planned’, but I have to wonder...” A rock he kicked bounced out into the empty road. “I don’t want to go back to that house, but our mother said she will contact me...”

“Why do you gotta go back?”

Genji blinked, the last of his indignation dimming. A lingering sense of loyalty tethered him there, a ‘family is first’ mentality that she tried so hard to imprint upon him. But…

A shoulder bumped his own, and he looked up to Jesse’s face, and how genuine it was.

“Just saying, you sure as hell don’t have to.” He returned his gaze to the sidewalk. “You don’t have to talk to them ever again, in my humble opinion. You’re eighteen soon, right?”

“Yeah. I will be.”

“Exactly. And you don’t have to answer her call, keep tabs on them, nothin’. You’ve got no obligation.”

Genji found himself returning Jesse’s reassuring smile.

When they arrived at the arcade, a _help wanted_ sign stood in the window, and Genji filled out an application on the spot.


	6. Chapter 6

“Will you stay still?”

“Sorry. You know I usually use pencil.” Or he did, until a lot of his stuff was left behind with his mother. He tried to tense up to keep his face still. “I forgot about how easy it is to mess up liquid.”

“Well, remember, because if I have to get this off you again, it’s just not going to be a thing.” Fareeha leaned in with the liquid eyeliner pen, carefully sliding the tip across Genji’s left eyelid. Their breath puffed out in clouds between them. The stone bench was cold, expected for near-December, but Genji still had trouble refraining from fidgeting at its contact. The same EDM playlist as always pulsated out from the arcade entrance behind them.

“Would you hurry up? It’s freezin’,” Jesse shivered, shoving his hands in the pockets of a jacket that was in no way suitable for the weather.

“You could just go inside, you know,” Fareeha murmured as she swiped out a wing to finish off Genji’s right eye. “Besides, I’m done.”

Genji leaned back, blinking a few times and looking at the results in his phone camera. “This is perfect! Thanks.” He brushed his now fading green-tipped hair out of his face and turned to Jesse. “What do you think?”

“Eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man, that’s for sure.”

“Perfect.” They both left the freezing bench. “Thanks, Fareeha.” The puffy arms of her winter coat wrapped around him in response.

“No problem,” she responded into his ear, and then pulled away with a smile. “Someday I’m going to get you your own eyeliner, though, and then you’re on your own.”

Genji shook his head. He walked through the double-doors, muttering a thanks to Jesse, who held it open for him and Fareeha. “I’m too lazy. I would give up on it immediately. I’ll still be asking you for help when we’re in our thirties.”

“‘Hey Fareeha, I’m back in town, we haven’t seen each other for ten years and also I need my eyeliner done,’” Fareeha mocked, ending on a small laugh when her faux-deep Genji voice wavered into her own register.

“Hey, that’s implying that you’re gonna be here forever,” Jesse said. “Now, no offense, but this ain’t the brightest place to settle down in.”

Fareeha shrugged. “I won’t stay here, but I’ll probably visit my mom sometimes I guess?”

“Okay, I have to go,” Genji interrupted. He had spotted the woman that interviewed him for the job, and began walking up to her.

Fareeha tapped his arm with two fingers. When he turned back to her, she said, “You’re going to be fine. Just remember to listen when they tell you what to do.” And then she ushered him on.

A corner of Genji’s mouth quirked upward, half-confusion and half-appreciation. “Thanks.” He waved to Jesse and Fareeha, and went on his way. He hadn’t mentioned being nervous, because he wasn’t really supposed to be, right? But she somehow could tell that he still sort of was - even though it was just a normal job for a normal teenager. Which he was, now, if that sort of thing was graded by having a part-time job and not living in a mansion. A normal teenager.

It was very easy to focus while the nice lady explained what he would have to do while running the counter, exchanging tickets for prizes and helping people out. If he still lived at home, his mind would be elsewhere, thinking about where he would go later and if his mom was home, busy picking at every distraction, but the past few weeks were… different.

Worry quickly melted away as his training went on. All the job was was really socializing, and he did that pretty easily. Even easier without a family metaphorically breathing down his neck.

When his first day ended, he was actually excited. He would be doing something productive with his time and be able to see the positive results whenever he got paid. It was… sort of uplifting, and put him in a cheery mode on the way to Wayback Burgers. Angela met them on the way, and soon all four of them were loudly terrorizing a quiet restaurant at eight o’clock at night.

The Wayback Burgers was relatively empty, with a bored teen cashier and a young couple as their only other company for the celebratory meal. It was dark outside, stars beginning to dot the sky outside the windows.

“Told ya it’d be fine!” Jesse clapped Genji on the back, leaning across the table. Genji shouted in fake pain, but had to fight to hide his smile. There were people that were proud of him, and wanted to go out to eat with him to celebrate his accomplishments, even if they were small.

“ _Gott_ , Jesse, don’t knock down the food!” Angela shot forward in her seat to grab the baskets of greasy hotdogs and burgers that skittered towards the table’s edge with the push of Jesse’s body.

Fareeha laughed. “What would we do without you, Angela?”

“You would be tossing out all the nasty food that almost hit the floor, that’s what.”

Jesse clutched his chest. “That _hurts_ , Angel. Jake’s Wayback’s is my lifeblood, ya know that.”

“Oh, hush, Jesse.” Angela protested. “It’s awful for you.” A ‘this place is not called Jake’s anymore’ from Fareeha slipped by unnoticed.

“You still eat it, though,” Genji pointed out, reaching for his own food, which had somehow ended up across the table.

“Yes, and it’s awful for me too,” she responded, rearranging the plastic wire baskets so that the meals went to their proper owners. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t _taste_ good. It’s just not… _good._ ”

Fareeha nodded sagely.

“Psh. When I die, I’ll die knowin’ my tastebuds lived life to the fullest, thanks.” With that, Jesse tore into his hotdog, his pastel-orange nails making slight indents on the bun.

Genji smiled around the straw of his cookies-and-cream milkshake, savoring the vanilla and chocolate. He’s had a hundred of these before, but they never tasted as good as this one.

His friends put the glaring overhead lamps above them to shame. They were so full of bright kindness that his family knew nothing of. Back home, it was either the family’s way or no way at all, but that wasn’t reality. Here, well… there weren’t any lucrative connections that would push him to money-making positions, sure, but there also wasn’t a grip on him that would be willing to crush him if it meant he would follow a life’s worth of orders.

His poor brother.

Genji remembered his dull eyes, his failing expression, the rain pounding down on him that night.

Where was his once-lively humanity?

Someone’s boot poked his pant leg. His head shot up, looking across the table at Jesse, whose eyes sparkled.

“Lighten up a lil’. Thought this was fun time.”

Something about the way Jesse caught his attention made him warm inside, and he smiled. “I would say I’m having tons of fun with this.” He shook the tall metal milkshake cup in his hand, which was full of the extra milkshake left over from when they filled his order. The actual milkshake still sat waiting where it had been placed next to its taller brother.

Jesse nodded in deep understanding. “Drinkin’ the can first, and the cup second. I see you know the sophisticated way of things.”

“Of course I do.”

“Why don’t you just drink what you bought? Why do they even bring you more in the first place?” Fareeha jumped in. “I think it’s excessive.”

“No, it’s not!” Jesse argued genuinely. “The metal thing usually has more milkshake in the first place. Not drinkin’ it would be a disservice to this fine establishment.”

“Jake’s is a ‘fine establishment’ to you, Jesse?” Angela teased.

“It’s not even called Jake’s. We’ve been over this.” The two turned to Fareeha at the sound of her voice, and she suffered as her friends exploded around her.

“It will always be Jake’s to me, Fareeha!” Jesse’s misplaced passion earned a glance from the couple sitting a few tables away.

“Wait, when did they even change their name?” Angela inquired in a conspiratorial tone.

Fareeha shrugged helplessly. “I don’t _know_ , but all the signs are different, do you guys have eyes?”

Genji felt his lips tug upwards again. He dumped the cookies-and-cream mess at the bottom of the container into his mouth.

It was a good night.

The door creaked open despite Genji’s and Jesse’s best efforts when they got home. They kicked off their shoes at the entrance, the taste of milkshake and hotdog on their tongues. Jesse’s siblings were definitely in bed right now, and his mom too.

It had been three weeks since Genji had that bag stuffed into his unfeeling hands. Three weeks since he entered the foreign world that was Jesse’s family.

Their everyday was so much different. Someone was always around, chatting or asking a question or just hanging out. When Jesse didn’t cook dinner, his mom would, and it was consistently delicious. The moments where she stood in the kitchen, dark brown hair wisping out of a braid as she stirred something in a pot or shook a pan, were rare but made Genji’s heart ache for a lifetime he didn’t get.

His father used to cook sometimes, when he felt like it and didn’t have any pressing matters. But the memory was so faded - as the years wore on, it happened less and less - that it had the same feeling as seeing Jesse’s mother cook. It was like misplaced nostalgia for what he didn’t experience.

Something twinged in his chest. To his right, Jesse stretched. “Well, I’m gonna turn in,” he whispered, already beginning to unbutton his flannel, white t-shirt peeking out from beneath. “You good?” He asked, after Genji’s silence.

“Yes.”

Genji was _not_ good, because he was suddenly kind of emotional and also really wanted to kiss Jesse, watching his fingers twist as they navigated his button-down.

“Alright.” Jesse turned to head to his room.

“Wait.”

Why did he say that?

Jesse turned around. Genji made a concentrated effort not to stare at his lips.

“Thanks. For, you know.” His whisper quieted down to a mere rasp in his throat. “Supporting me and everything.”

Before he knew it, warm arms embraced him.

“Of course, Genji,” Jesse murmured.

Genji settled into the hug, wrapping his arms around in turn, skin thrumming where their chests touched. Jesse was always more touchy-feely than Genji would be comfortable being himself, but he didn’t mind. He felt Jesse’s wide palms on his back and breathed in the same flowery fabric softener that his own clothes now all smelled like, and the smell of Jesse’s house. _Home._

It had only been three weeks, but this place was more home than the Shimada household ever was.

Oh no. No, no, no. Don’t cry.

They parted. “I’m not going to cry. Don’t look at me,” Genji muttered.

Jesse chuckled softly. The moonlight played with his hair from the living room window and Genji found it unfair, really. “Yep, yer totally not about to bawl yer eyes out right now.”

Genji punched his arm.

“Alright, alright, a man can tell when he’s not wanted,” he laughed softly. “G’night, Genji.”

His smile stayed with Genji after he left.

Splashing bathroom water on his face, getting changed and brushing his teeth, he then crawled slowly into bed, the air mattress sinking slightly under his weight. The same blanket from his first night here was scratchy in his hand when he pulled it closer over the comforter.

He curled up, holding the remnants of Jesse’s warmth close to his chest as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all when tf did jake's change its name


	7. Chapter 7

Genji didn’t consider himself much of a people-watcher. It was easy to like people. Socialization energized him. But people-watching was too close to the classification of “hobby” for comfort.

Still. People didn’t always want to shop or redeem tickets at the arcade, so most days he was alone with the music and the worn orange counter he was stationed at. Unintentionally, he began to notice the regulars that came often, the young kids that could only get their parents to take them every once in a while, and the customers that religiously cashed in their tickets for whatever meager prize possible. He, personally, was one of those that let the tickets find their way to the trash. There was an impressive pile of salmon-colored ticket strips gathering dust somewhere in his room at his mother’s, if it hadn’t been tossed out at this point.

He dubbed one of the regulars “girl with gauges” in his mind. She never redeemed tickets or even spent a second near Genji’s desk, but she came so often that it was a surprise he didn’t somehow bump into her in the past. He had never noticed her before, but now that he worked here, it was easy to notice these things.

She was there almost every day - he couldn’t blame her, he used to do the same - but always alone, her long nails clacking against the buttons and joysticks, her half-shaved head following the screens’ movements. She typically ordered a large Coke near the beginning of her run and tackled a sizeable chunk of the arcade each time. Sometimes she would run the same chunk more than once in a few days.

Someone that involved in the arcade was someone Genji was interested in. 

One Friday evening a few weeks into the job, he ordered a large Coke once he got off a well-timed shift. 

“I thought ya didn’t like Coke,” Jesse said, sauntering up to the beverages counter to meet him, jingling a handful of quarters from his mom’s coin dish in his jacket pocket. Above him, the arcade lighting was exclusively neon red and green. It was mid-December now, so it made sense, but the lighting had been set that way since before Thanksgiving, which used to irk Jesse in the most adorable way.

“I don’t. But I am pretty sure that girl does.” Genji gestured to the front doors, where “girl with gauges” walked in right on time tapping on her phone, her face illuminated by blue light.

“Oh. Ya like her?” Jesse looked away as he sipped his Sprite.

Genji shook his head with a laugh. No, he had someone else in mind, and that person was right next to him, which was what made it so annoying. It would be awkward having a relationship and living with your partner’s family, and they would spend so much time near each other that it might get old, and Jesse might not even like him in the first place, might not even like guys... 

He had totally not spent an absurd amount of time considering this, of course not. Why would he?

“No. I don’t even know her. But she always comes here and seems to know what she is doing, so I figured, why not try to make a friend?”

Genji and Jesse waited as the girl weaved her way up to the counter.

“Hey!” Genji called, raising the fountain drink in his hand. “You like Coke, right?”

The girl turned her head to look in their direction, squinting suspiciously at the flashy boy and the cowboy. “...Yeah. Why?”

Genji shrugged, and took that as an invitation to get in conversational range. He approached her with the cup held out like a peace offering. “I always see you here and thought it might be nice to get you your drink.”

“Oh. Well, thanks.” She reached out and slowly removed it from Genji’s grasp, taking a tentative sip and smacking her lips. “If it turns out you drugged me, your life will not be fun.”

Genji just laughed. “Trust me, it already isn’t.”

“We didn’t touch it, promise,” Jesse interjected, with a side-elbow at Genji. “Genji just likes this place and noticed you’re a regular. Swear.”

The girl took another sip. “You work here though,” she directed at Genji, eyes narrowed.

“Yes, but I used to go here all the time before I got this job.”

Something lit up behind her eyes - a realization. She almost choked on her drink, taking a big gulp to wash the rest down. “Hold on. Are you GNJ in the scoreboards? I’ve been working on topping those scores for months. Not bad.” There was a sudden respect in her tone.

“Wait, you’re the one who has been stealing my image here?”

“So you noticed.” She tapped her neon nails on the paper cup. “SRA stands for Sombra.”

Interesting. “Is that your name?”

‘Sombra’ looked back at the dark, flashing section of the building behind them all that housed the arcade games. Her eyes held some distrust. “It’s what you can call me.”

“Fair enough. You can call me Jesse.” He stuck out a hand all formal-like and Genji had to bite back a laugh.

“Nice to meet you, Jesse.” Sombra almost sounded amused as she gripped his hand in a taloned handshake.

“Want to join us? We were just about to hit up the X-Men game.” Genji offered.

Something in her faltered, a change flickering behind her violet-colored contacts - hesitation? - but it was too quick for Genji to really decipher, and confidence quickly returned to her features. “Oh, I haven’t played that one yet. Sure.” A self-assured smirk sat comfortably on her face. Genji got the impression that it was an expression she had made many times before.

Watching Sombra play was extremely satisfying. She used the controls like she was born with them, fingers quickly flitting around to keep up with the game. Once Genji dropped out of the game, he watched her movements with fascination.

Of course, Jesse had somehow gotten way better at this game in the past few weeks, and he was still fighting against Magneto’s evil plan while Genji of all people was made to watch. But Genji didn’t mind. 

“You are very good,” Genji commended when the game was over. “I’m not surprised that you beat most of my scores.”

Sombra sipped her Coke. “Well, it was pretty easy,” she laughed.

“Hey! If I had not gotten busy, GNJ would still top the charts.”

“As his friend, I’ve gotta agree with that blatant lie,” Jesse added.

Perhaps Sombra had a hard time getting to know people. Her personality wasn’t abrasive, just… off-putting. Like she always knew something others didn’t.

The group wandered between machines, throwing cursory glances at games that Genji and Sombra knew too well, and Jesse knew hardly at all. Enticing screens flashed at them and attempted to pump chiptune out above the oppressive dance music permeating the arcade. One of Sombra’s hot-pink claws pointed out a game suitable to everyone’s skill levels, and they headed over, pushing in coins.

“What are you so busy with?” Sombra’s eyes followed the pixels on-screen as if making casual conversation, but she sounded… weirdly inquisitive.

“I dunno. Why?”

“I’m just a curious person.”

Genji shrugged. “Ah. Stuff just got in the way. Work. School.” Family problems. He never did find that copy of Hamlet before he was kicked out. Thank God for Sparknotes.

“Mm, I see.” She was locked in, eyes narrowed at her character.

“D’you go to the high school here, Sombra?” Jesse asked, hat pulled down tight on his head so that it wouldn’t fall off if he got too excited or mad. It had happened before.

“No.” A silent pause interrupted her typical quick-witted method of speech. “I go to cyber-school.”

“Seems nice. Don’t hafta go anywhere. Get to do things at your own pace, I assume.”

She blinked at the screen, character falling off the platform to its death. The anguished cries could barely be heard from the speakers. “Yeah.”

When their stay at the arcade drew to a close, they all ended up heading to the front doors together, Sombra tossing out the last of her soda, Jesse rubbing the last of his gaming change between his fingers, and Genji tugging on his jacket. 

“It was nice meetin’ you,” Jesse threw over his shoulder as he opened the doors for them both.

“Yeah, it was an honor to meet the one that has been ruining my reputation,” Genji half-joked. “But seriously, we should do this again, if you want.”

Sombra ran a hand through her hair, head tilted, that mysterious half-smile back on her face. “Sure. I had fun. Thanks for the Coke.” She pulled out her phone. “Mind if I get your numbers?”

They traded contact info. Before they headed their separate ways outside the arcade, however, Genji pulled up his phone camera. 

“Hold on a second.”

He held it up in front-facing mode, positioned high so that he could get all of them in the picture. Jesse, used to Genji’s spontaneous picture-taking, had a pose ready immediately - fingertips on the brim of his hat, tilted head, and a winning smile - while Sombra seemed not to know what to do. He clicked the button.

“What was that for?” Sombra’s question was heavy with suspicion, as if Genji would use it for nefarious purposes. 

He shook his phone in his hand. “For your contact.”

“Oh, alright.” Tension left her voice, leaving behind a hint of surprise. “Text me when you want to hang.” She waved lightly with the fingertips of her right hand, then turned around, lengthy winter coat flapping behind her as she walked away.

Genji shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as they started the trek home. “That was nice.”

Jesse pulled his beat-up cowboy hat down further onto his head, trying to catch his ears under its warmth. “She seemed a bit lonely, don’t ya think?”

A noncommittal noise left him. “You think so?”

“I dunno. She got real quiet sometimes.”

He cocked his head. “She does always come by herself. It is none of our business, though.”

The bare arms of the trees stretched to the sky as they rounded a corner and kept course down Jesse’s street.

“Let’s keep our priorities straight here. I am just glad to know who’s been beating me,” Genji joked.

They walked up the creaky porch stairs into Jesse’s house, said goodnight, and settled in. Genji curled into a comma shape on his mattress, phone screen glaring at him. He tapped on the new contact he made and selected the plus sign in the empty circle where the contact image should go. The phone showed him the picture he chose, asking if it was the one he wanted.

In it, Genji was grinning, eyes bolded by liquid eyeliner he got from Fareeha once she finally just handed him some and told him to learn how to do it himself. Jesse was his usual charming self, an easy hand resting on his cowboy hat. And in the very back was Sombra with her head turned away, a pink-tipped hand half-covering her face.

Well, this was the only photo he had of her, so it would have to do.

Setting it as the contact photo, he stared at his home screen for a bit longer. At the old bank app that was now defunct with his mother closing his account and emptying the money after he ‘left’ - and at the home screen, a picture of him and his friends at Wayback’s, smiling and laughing.

His family hasn’t contacted him at all since he was kicked out. Winter holidays were coming up, and Genji wouldn’t be home for the break.

Well, that was fine with him.

It was easy to pretend otherwise when there was no one else around to convince but himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *we're halfway there, not looking back now*
> 
> sombra has entered the chat
> 
> ok listen so sombra's a trans girl in this but i never really found a good spot to like... make that known? so that's just some context i guess. i was thinking about writing more in this universe that touches on that more, we'll see!


	8. Chapter 8

“Happy holidays!” Angela exclaimed when she opened the door. Jesse tipped his hat in response. Next to him, the heat from indoors hit Genji in the face. When he smiled at Angela, the corners of his mouth were just a bit too tight.

Winter break had always been a toss-up for him. There was the absolute joy of genuinely doing nothing for a few weeks, but there was also the implication of staying home for that long uninterrupted. Of course, he wasn't with his family now, and it's been fun for the past week or so, but it hadn't left him at ease. His spine was a string and someone was holding it taut. Or better yet, an angry swarm of bees had taken up residence in his head today, buzzing incessantly so that he couldn’t rest, but it didn’t tell him what to worry about. His forced smile became marginally easier as he pushed his way in through the doorway to force the static away.

Thank goodness Angela’s parents were out on a date all night. This was a good day to have a relaxing, distracting winter break hangout.

“Angela! It’s great to see you.” Genji took her open-armed offer and pulled her close to him for a moment.

Angela smiled. “It’s only been, like, a week.”

“Still!” He exclaimed, extracting himself from her arms and striding into the heart of the living room, small packages shifting in his arms. “I always appreciate seeing you two.”

Jesse filed in behind him, giving Angela a brief hug and exchanging holiday pleasantries.

Genji dumped all of the presents on the coffee table. The living room was spacious, with enough room to take a full breath and then some. It was a significant difference from Jesse’s small home, where everyone was stepping on each other. He prefered Jesse’s, though. “Is Faree here yet?”

“In here!” A voice called from the doorway that led to the kitchen. Fareeha emerged, holding a bowl in her right hand and sporting a significant dusting of flour on one cheek. The mere sight loosened Genji's tense chest some. “I… think I’m bad at this,” she admitted, sheepish.

“Nonsense.” Angela walked up and pecked her girlfriend on her flour-free cheek. “We’ll help.”

Despite only Jesse having any real baking knowledge, they all teamed up in the kitchen to make sure the cookies turned out alright.

“Is that enough chocolate chips?” The chips bag was clutched in both of Angela’s hands and completely upturned over the dough bowl.

Jesse peered over the bowl to look in. He squinted. “Angie.”

“What?”

“Why the hell did you put the whole bag in?”

She shrugged and innocently remarked, “I like chocolate.”

Genji leaned over to the kitchen island and looked in as well. “So do I. That looks good,” he added casually, turning back around to keep feeling around in the cabinet for the cookie pan. Jesse threw his head back in laughter.

“We’re all going to get diabetes because of you two,” Fareeha deadpanned.

They eventually brought out the chocolate-laden cookies, slightly burnt but otherwise successfully edible, into the living room. The plate was placed in the center of the coffee table next to the gifts Genji and Jesse brought. Fareeha and Angela added their own to the pile so that the plate was now in a nest of wrapping paper and poorly self-curled bows. They were evidence of the scissor struggle that Genji knew well. His own gifts each had one alright curl and a basically-flat strip of ribbon where he couldn’t get the material to rest properly on the blade. Apparently everyone else had problems with that as well, except for Angela, whose bow tails were perfect for some reason.

Genji sent a fake-resentment glare in her direction as they all sat down on the couch. She didn’t see it, but what mattered was that he sent it.

Right now, at home, it would be business as usual, even with winter break and the approaching holidays. His family wasn’t Christian and had no reason to observe any religious holiday, so the house would still be rather empty. Or - something that was known to happen on occasion throughout the year - maybe it would be full. Maybe uncles and aunts and cousins would gather there to talk business, praise and insult Hanzo at the same time, tell Genji to stop being the way he was, etc., etc.

Usually he would stop himself from thinking about them before he dwelled too long. But today it was hard not to latch on.

Maybe if his family met up this year, they would wonder where he was. Though it wasn’t like his mother or them ever actively tried to spend time with him during winter break. His father did, but that was before he fell ill, and since even Hanzo ended up avoiding home eventually by going on trips for school or business, Genji was usually alone.

Usually.

“Genji, what’s your opinion?”

“What?”

“ _Elf_ or _Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer._ We can’t decide,” Fareeha repeated.

“Oh, uh, do we want funny or bad?” Genji asked.

“Which one is which?” Jesse asked, which was… concerning.

“ _Elf_ isn’t bad, it’s the funny one.” Angela was shocked. “How could you think _Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer_ is funny _?_ ”

Jesse shrugged. “I’ve watched it so many times with my brother n’ sis that I think it’s actually destroyin’ my sense of humor.”

Angela sadly shook her head. “I will remember you as the funny man you once were, not as the atrocity you’ve become.”

He nodded solemnly in return, pulling his hat down in pretend shame. “I thank you.”

Genji smiled at that, but it was weak. He was restless, anxiety suspending him and keeping him from relaxing. His phone burned in his back pocket and he shifted uncomfortably.

When will his mother try to talk to him?

His phone number was changed, and he was no longer on the family’s plan. But his family could probably figure out a way to find him anyway, and the longer nothing happened, the worse it felt. The longer he was away from “home,” the worse it felt. But he didn’t want to go “home.”

He rubbed his arms absently, hearing the chatter near him but not really, staring at the title screen for _Elf_. Someone must have put the disc in.

A shoulder bumped his own.

“Hey, you alright?” Jesse murmured. “You usually start your movie commentary while we’re still on the title screen.”

“I don’t know. I’m a bit on edge.” Despite his efforts, his eyes watered. He exhaled slowly.

Jesse considered him for a moment, then announced to the room at large, “Genji’s gonna sit in the middle now.”

“What?”

Jesse stood, grabbing his can of ginger ale and pointing to the center of the couch with the same hand. “Move it.”

Angela scrunched her face up in clear worry. Genji wondered, not for the first time, if she could actually magically detect emotions. It would make her girlfriend a perfect match, considering Fareeha’s inability to communicate her feelings more than once a month on average. “Genji, what happened? Are you alright?” With how fast Angela leaned over on the couch to fuss, she practically flew over to him.

Genji couldn’t help but stifle a small laugh at that, gently moving her away and aggressively rubbing his face with his sleeve, trying to contain the tears to his eyes only and not the rest of his face. “Stop, Angela, it’s alright.”

“Well, clearly not,” she huffed, but backed off anyway. “Jesse is right. Come over here.”

He was persuaded into the middle, Jesse plopping down close to him on his right and Angela laying mostly on Fareeha’s lap to his left. Jesse’s shoulder pressed into his, and Fareeha’s arm was wedged between his and her legs. It was almost unbearably warm from all the body heat, and very unlike a cold bedroom in a cold empty house where a cold brother and mother were. Heat built up uncomfortably behind the back of his shirt, but he didn’t protest, bringing up his legs to properly curl up on the couch. “Thanks.” he added quietly.

Everyone settled down into the cushions.

“I’ve said it before, but it should really be repeated,” Fareeha muttered. “If I ever see your brother again, he is going down.”

“But my mother was the one that -”

“Her too.”

Genji shrugged in casual assent. They started the movie. Usually, he couldn’t shut up during a film, but in a measly fifteen minutes, he was watching through tired half-lidded eyes.

Eventually, he fell asleep.

* * *

The doorbell rang out through the living room.

Genji hoped to ignore the noise and go back to dozing, but Jesse peeled himself off the couch, leaving a stark cold spot to Genji’s right that forced him awake. His head dropped down suddenly, and he opened his eyes.

Did he end up sleeping on Jesse’s shoulder?

“Hey, Sombra, glad you could make it,” came Jesse’s voice over the movie’s noise.

So she showed up after all. The invitation was over text and a little short-notice, so it was a mystery whether or not she would, especially since she only knew Jesse and Genji.

Everyone turned their heads to the door. Someone paused the movie.

Sombra was indeed standing there, a few small paper bags dangling from their handles in one hand. Genji couldn’t tell if the furrowed brow and not-really-smile were from confusion, suspicion, apprehension, or a mixture of all three. She looked surprised that people were even home.

She slowly came inside, the light snowfall from outside dusting the shoulders of her coat. “Thanks for the invite. Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s fine, make yourself comfortable,” Angela called, removing herself from Fareeha’s lap as Jesse returned to the couch.

Sombra pulled off her coat, careful not to get snow on the hardwood, and blinked when Angela took it from her and hung it on the coat rack. “Thanks.”

“No problem. I’m Angela.” She held out her hand.

“Do all of you shake hands with people? I’ve never seen teenagers _do_ that.”

A burst of laughter came out of Angela despite Sombra’s blunt flavor of mockery, and she aborted the gesture in favor of putting a hand over her mouth. “Sorry! A bit formal, I know. If you don’t want to, it’s fine. Come join us on the couch.”

Sombra took slow steps into the living room, tossing the tiny bags on the table with everything else and taking a place on the couch that left a good few inches between her and Jesse. Introductions were exchanged between her and Fareeha.

“Do you want something to drink? I heard you liked Coke, so I got some,” Angela called from where she had wandered off into the kitchen, and Sombra seemed surprised at that too.

“That’d be cool, thanks,” Sombra answered. A slightly blurry paused frame of _Elf_ was still up on the TV screen. “What are you watching?”

Genji sat up, rubbing his slightly-crusty eyes in an attempt to be more awake. “ _Elf_.”

“Alright,” She shrugged and leaned back, long red and green nails tapping on the couch arm.

Angela bustled in with a can of Coke and a glass of iced tea, passing the can to Sombra and shoving the glass in Fareeha’s hand as she reclaimed her seat.

“Hey, thanks, you didn’t have to get me that.” Fareeha grabbed the drink and readjusted so that she wouldn’t dump iced tea all over the girl settling into her lap.

“Well, I did.” Angela reached out and pressed play on the remote, then immediately paused it. “Oh, wait!” She shot up, knocking into the cup that was hovering above her head. Fareeha had the glass an inch from her face, clearly about to drink it, droplets of iced tea dripping down her face and reflecting the bluish light of the TV.

“Well,” Fareeha simply stated.

Jesse and Genji started laughing, and Sombra let out a dry chuckle.

“Oh,” Angela sighed, momentarily covering her face with her hands. “I’m so sorry, let me get you paper towels or something.” She got up.

“Nah, I’ll get it, you sit.”

“I’m the host, Jesse,” Angela protested, annoyed. “And it was my fault.”

Jesse merely sauntered into the kitchen, leaving Angela no choice but to sit down in a huff.

“Before I so rudely got you covered in iced tea -”

“It’s fine, I swear.”

“- I was going to suggest that we open the gifts now that everyone’s here.”

“Don’t you start without me.” Jesse came back in with a damp washcloth and dropped it on Fareeha’s head with a wet _plop_ on his way to his seat. She jumped, pulling it off her head and sticking her tongue out at Jesse.

Jesse ignored it, sitting down. “Angela first, since she let us low-lifers into her home, angel that she is.”

“Oh, it’s nothing really. I have the space and my parents aren't here. It was the perfect opportunity.”

Genji leaned forward, swiped the packages addressed to Angela off the table, and tossed them in her lap. “Would you stop denying compliments and just go, already?”

“Alright, alright,” she snorted.

Once presents were done and _Elf_ was resumed, it turned out that Sombra could be a movie critic if she really wanted. She ruthlessly tore the movie apart, all with a smile on her face.

Genji couldn’t resist joining in. His endless ability for commentary combined with Sombra’s scathing criticisms formed the ultimate movie-watching annoyance. Jesse, Angela, and Fareeha all groaned when one of the two opened their mouths. It was fantastic.

When Sombra left, she was much more at ease than when she showed up, waving goodbye to everyone and wishing them happy holidays. Fareeha was staying for the night, so she and Angela both wished Jesse and Genji well as they bundled into Jesse’s old car through the now-steady snow.

“Holy shit, it’s cold.” Jesse wriggled in the driver’s seat and upped the heat. The car made a few cranky noises in response. “Oh, hush.” They slowly drove away, Angela’s house drifting off behind them into the snowy night.

The snowfall was frequent, but light. It wouldn’t pack too hard on top of the solid layer of white already covering everyone’s yards. Genji thought it was a shame that it hadn’t snowed this much before Christmas break. If it had, there would have been more snow days. He rubbed his freezing hands together and felt heat slowly warm up the car.

“Listen, I know Angela said _Elf_ wasn’t the bad movie, but I think five-star movie critic Sombra What’s-her-last-name completely changed my life.”

Jesse choked a little, then erupted into laughter. “The ‘five-star’ thing is for _chefs_ ,” he wheezed. “‘Cause the restaurant is five-star. Jesus fuck, I think you just killed me.”

Genji shrugged, unfazed. “Maybe they should do the same for movie critics. ‘Eighty-four percent on Rotten Tomatoes’ movie critic has a nice ring to it, I think.” Jesse laughed even harder. Suddenly, Genji’s face was very warm, and he looked away to hide a smile that was too gentle and soft to be explained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a christmas chapter? in MY summer?? it's more likely than you think


	9. Chapter 9

“Interesting use of color, but lacking in execution. I would give it a six out of ten.”

“Hey, don’ make fun of ‘im.” Jesse shielded his gingerbread cookie cowboy from Genji’s judgemental gaze, cupping his hands around the sloppily-iced cowboy hat, boots, and little smile. “He’s sensitive.” His words dripped with faux-hurt, amd Genji almost felt bad for real.

“What is his name? I would like to apologize in person.”

“Joel, ya asshole.”

Genji walked over to Jesse’s spot on the counter, leaning over the cookie, hands behind his back clutching the icing tube he was using. A tiny wobbly smile was drawn in blue on Jesse’s cookie. “I am deeply sorry for hurting you, Joel. Please accept this gift as reparation.” He leaned over and plucked his own gingerbread man off the cutting board to plop it next to Joel. It was filled entirely in black, with neon green eyes and a few other neon green lines as the only other color. “Now he has a friend.”

“I'm sure he appreciates it.” Jesse pointed at the uneven lines running down Genji’s cookie from the hand onwards. “What the hell is that?”

“That is his sword. Duh. He’s a ninja.”

“What’s _his_ name?”

Genji barely considered the question. “Cyborg ninja.”

Jesse started laughing, and Genji joined him. The snow made eddies outside the kitchen window. Genji tried to focus on the grain of the cutting board and not memories of hot meals with Hanzo on cold winter mornings as their parents attended meetings.

“What’re you two up to?”

Joanna shut the screen door behind her, returning from her smoke break outside with a smile on her face, smelling of cigarettes and the chilled morning air.

“Just finishing our cookies, ma.” Jesse made a half-hearted noise of protest as his mom ruffled his hair and laid a passing hand on Genji’s shoulder on her way to the pantry. Genji smiled at the contact.

Genji had never celebrated Christmas before. The McCrees were more religious than he had expected. Jesse’s mom always had her hand on the cross that hung from a chain on her neck, and the tiny nativity scene the family owned was meticulously set for the holiday season. When it became clear that Genji was staying with them through Christmas, the family was determined to include him, pestering him to help put bulbs on the Christmas tree and wrap the younger children’s gifts. The presents for Michael and Sophia had… _interestingly_ curled bows as a result, but Joanna and Jesse wanted him to help, so that’s what they’d get.

“Well, _you_ did ‘em, so they’re nice regardless,” Jesse had said when Genji had bemoaned his unpretty bow work. Genji didn’t know what to say to that, so he had coughed and disappeared onto the front porch for some fresh air.

He swore, the second he started staying here, he lost all of his prior abilities to flirt. It wasn’t like Jesse was his first crush, but for some reason he just… couldn’t function this time around.

Once they finished the gingerbread men, they sat down in front of the TV with Michael and Sophia to play _Mario Kart_.

“I wanna play too,” Sophia had said, and so Jesse just dropped a controller in front of her and plugged it in. She held the controller more awkwardly than the rest, tiny hands rotating the control stick in more chunky motions. Jesse didn’t laugh at her, even though she would usually come in last place. He merely let her have fun and be included.

Hanzo would refuse to share what he was learning in school with Genji, and considered the arcade a waste of time. “You are too young,” “you are being foolish,” “you are not ready.” If Hanzo had any room in his heart for baseless fun, he wouldn’t share it with Genji. Jesse and his siblings were so different from that.

It was nice, if bittersweet, to see what it should be like. The care was there and the banter was normal, not scathing and hypercompetitive. It had gotten worse as Genji and Hanzo got older. Hopefully that never happens to these three.

“Yes!” Jesse punched the air with a fist.

“How’d you get first _again?_ ” Michael whined, sliding into sixth place. Genji had already made a close getaway into third, so they were waiting patiently for Sophia to meander to eleventh.

“Years of experience.” He loudly popped his gum and they all set up another round after Sophia finished.

Genji sat back and watched the new race’s countdown with a smile, winter sunshine bathing the four of them through the living room windows.

* * *

“Here you go, Genji.” Joanna handed him a lap-sized box. Tiny snowmen stared up at him from the wrapping paper. Michael and Sophia had already gotten their gifts and were currently destroying the living room in their glee, pillows knocked off the couch and discarded wrapping paper littered all over the carpet. ‘No Nerf guns in the house’ was a solid rule in the McCree household, but an exception was made this Christmas, and as a result, foam darts would forever be buried beneath the couch and side table.

“Thank you.” Beneath the neatly taped paper and cardboard flaps was a simple but well-designed picture frame, with a high-quality candid of him and all three McCree children sitting on the couch, frozen in mirthful conversation. The photographer, presumably Joanna, had taken it at a slight angle from the living room doorway.

Genji looked over the gift for a moment and then merely hugged her, avoiding the arms of the fake pine tree that were behind where they were sitting, breathing in the smell of Jesse’s home and a slight hint of cigarette smoke. Smoking wasn’t a pleasant scent, but it reminded him of here, and here was a good place. She returned the hug kindly.

“Those kids are little devils,” came a third voice.

Jesse sat down next to his mom as they parted, picking up a stray dart and tossing it back into the fray. The two were squealing and darting under furniture. “If there aren’t nosebleeds by tonight, I’d be surprised.”

“Do they always get hurt around Christmas?”

“Pumpkin, they always get hurt in general,” Jesse drawled, and oh no, did Jesse just call Genji _pumpkin_? Genji might die. “But yeah, the excitement can get ‘em pretty… accident-prone.”

Joanna sighed, but sounded fond when she said, “Maybe this year they’ll ‘member not to slam their faces onto furniture.”

“Anyways.” Jesse grabbed a red-and-black striped gift from beneath the tree and shoved it in Genji’s hands, right on top of the trash from the last present. “This one’s from me.”

“Cool.” They hadn’t gotten each other anything for Angela’s get-together because they lived together and would share Christmas anyways. Eager to open the present, Genji tore into it, shredding the wrapping paper to bits and lifting out a neon-green scarf. He instantly wrapped it around his neck, both ends resting comfortably halfway-down his pajama t-shirt. “Wow, that’s cozy.”

Jesse winked. “Soft as shit, right? I had it filled with extra cotton.”

“Watch yer language,” Joanna admonished from where she had gotten up and started shoving wrapping paper into a garbage bag.

“Sorry, ma.” He rolled his eyes. “But yeah. There’s somethin’ else in there too,” he pointed out. Genji peered into the box. At the very bottom was a coupon for an appointment to a nearby hair salon. His eyes widened.

“No way,” he breathed, picking it up and looking at it. Good for one full appointment - hair dyed and cut. His green was nearly gone now, only an awkward amount of bleached strands really left. Maybe he would go green again, maybe not.

“Yup.” He thumbed up the brim of the hat that always sat on his head, even with his Christmas pajamas. “I chatted with a girl there that I knew and managed this out of ‘er. One free full appointment.”

Yeah, it was a little immature to be so damn excited to change his hair. But who cared? That salon was out of their usual price ranges. He was going to look so fucking good.

Genji gently slid the coupon into his sweatpants pocket. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.” He couldn’t wait to be considered a walking visual disaster by his mother again. It still felt good to go against her wishes, even though she wouldn’t see it.

“No problem.”

Genji twisted around to reach to the back under the tree, pulling out one last gift: a small box with candy-cane wrapping. “Think fast.” He shot it out at Jesse, who expertly caught it with one hand, chuckling. “I got it from that pawn shop down the road,” Genji added as the box was unwrapped and opened.

Don’t ask him why it reminded him of Jesse. It just called him from behind the glass, all worn-down edges and dull pocked metal.

It rotated in Jesse’s hand. The muddy gold-ish color made an attempt at gleaming in the midday light. And, suddenly, Jesse burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“Holy -” and a pause while he remembered to accomodate for the children in the room _-_ “ _crap,_ this is amazin’!” He turned it so that the BAMF lettering of the belt buckle faced Genji, and giggled again. “I can’t believe ya caught this gem. It’s perfect. All worn down ‘n all. You do realize I’m never takin’ this thing off?” He shook it in his hand at the last sentence, grinning from ear to ear.

Genji let out a sputtering attempt at laughter, feeling giddy with the knowledge that Jesse enjoyed his dumb gift so much. “That might not be good for job interviews, you know.”

“Nah, I think it’ll actually weed out the bad ones. If you don't want a BAMF workin’ for ya, don't even consider me.”

They were then all called into the dining area off the side of the kitchen by Joanna, where all of the gingerbread cookies were stacked onto one plate. Genji thoroughly enjoyed his disgusting icing-caked ninja as he watched Jesse try to fit as much of “Joel” in his mouth as possible in one go, laughing at the sheer amount of crumbs falling down the front of his pajama shirt. He wanted to watch Jesse laugh forever.

But then Jesse looked over to him, and he had to pretend that he wasn’t thinking very hard about how Jesse’s hair framed his face. Fuck.

* * *

“Y’know what?”

“Hm?”

Their backs were resting against the front of the old couch. Genji didn’t really know why they were sitting on the floor instead. The TV was the only light on, casting the rest of the room into deep shadows and muddying color. It was like Genji’s vision was low-quality as his eyes followed Jesse’s hand running through his hair.

“I’m real happy to live here now. And pretty grateful that I sat next to you in homeroom that first day even though you were basically asleep.” Jesse’s lips turned upward. The way he was positioned, his hair almost hid his face; any further, and Genji wouldn't have caught that.

“Well, I am happy you put up with me back then, even though I was half-awake most of the time,” Genji smiled.

Jesse answered with a tired chuckle and then fell back into silence. He looked at his hands. “Remember when I told ya about movin’ here?”

“From New Mexico, right?”

“Yeah. And that we moved here for a reason and shit.” Everything was at a quiet whisper during the night. Genji wished he could properly see Jesse’s face. The TV vaguely colored the parts of the room that its light touched when it switched scenes on near-silent, some old rerun that neither of them were completely paying attention to. Christmas had been exhausting, but both of them were night owls by habit, which was why Genji’s eyelids were currently propped open by sheer will.

Jesse hunched forward and messed with his long sleeves. “Where we used to live was frequented by this… gang, I suppose, tryin’ to steal and sell shit to strike a profit. And I got roped into being their errand boy.”

Genji hummed; a neutral option. “What did they sell?”

“Pocket knives and handguns and the like.”

“ _What_.” He was suddenly very awake.

Jesse held up a hand. “I know, it wasn't safe or cool or anythin’, but one of ‘em took a liking to me and had me passin’ messages and shit.” He rubbed his hands together. “But it… escalated. A few of ‘em were trying to get me to become a real member, do worse things for them in the middle of the night. And they were… real insistent.”

“Insistent?”

“Pushy. Showin’ up at our house at odd hours. Always paid me well for just the small stuff, but they wouldn't leave us alone.” He leaned back, sofa creaking. “So we moved up here.”

“Wow, how did you end up all the way in PA?”

“Have some family here.”

“Ah.”

“It’s my first Christmas up here. And it didn’t really feel like home at first, but it’s growin’ on me.” Jesse shook his head, and a large block of hair finally obscured his expression. “I dunno. It's Christmas n’ I always get weird 'round Christmas. Just forget about it.”

“No, it's not weird,” Genji blurt out, and then backtracked. “Well, I mean… me too. I mean, I'm glad we met.”

“Yeah.” He rested his head on his knees. “Things had their way of workin’ out.”

Genji stared into the fuzzy pixels of the TV screen. “You moving here really saved my ass. I don’t know where I would be right now if you got sucked into all that. That must have been scary as hell.” He suddenly wished he weren’t as awkward when he asked, “Are you okay now?”

“Yep. They don’t know where I am and I don’t know where their sorry asses dragged themselves off to down there. Good riddance.” He cast a sideways glance at Genji. “ _You_ okay now?” And he didn’t even need to specify.

Genji had to think about that one.

The house was asleep. No more children loudly ran through its rooms, and no one picked up the thousandth stray strip of wrapping paper with a sigh, and no one was sneaking candy canes off the tree. Genji’s phone was on the side table across the room, where it had been all day. He didn’t dare look at it; it felt like fire in his hand, or a gun waiting to go off. But it couldn’t be like that forever.

Something would change.

Genji sighed. “I will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sadly go-karts]


	10. Chapter 10

“When’s that essay due for English?”

“I dunno. Figured I’d write it the day before,” Jesse mumbled back as he worked out a math problem from the other side of the couch.

“Damn. That was my plan.” Genji chewed on the end of his pencil, looking down at a nonsensical physics worksheet. His grades had actually gone up in the past couple of months, which was an unexpected but welcome side effect to leaving home. Honestly, he thought he was a lost cause. “When are you going to the store?”

“I’d say twenty minutes.”

Genji hesitated for a moment. “Can I come with you?”

“Sure, if ya want.”

Even though Michael and Sophia were loud and grabby and usually sticky, and Jesse and Genji saw each other every single day due to the circumstances, Genji never got tired of being around the McCrees. It was weird to spend the New Years with little kids and his friend and his friend’s mom, instead of with his immaculate and business-oriented extended family. Instead of champagne, there was soda and a lot of Hi-C Orange Lavaburst juice boxes. There weren’t any fancy suits or dresses, either. Everyone was only barely dressed up when they visited the rest of Jesse’s family, who lived nearby. The change of pace from high-strung family pressure to laid-back family reunion was an uncomfortable one, and more than a few times Genji was told to “just lighten up, it ain’t like you’re meetin’ the President.” Regardless, he prefered here way more than there.

Vibrations suddenly emitted on top of Genji’s leg - his phone. The number wasn’t familiar. Not unusual ever since he started applying to community colleges. He swiped the answer button and brought the phone to his ear. Maybe this time it wasn’t a scam call or someone asking him to go to college a million miles away. “Hello?”

“Brother?”

Ice flooded Genji’s veins.

His breath was stolen from him, brain attempting to go in all directions, half-formed hypotheses and possible responses lodging in-between his mind and his mouth. Without even thinking, he pulled the phone away from his ear and violently rubbed a shaking thumb across the _end call_ button. Weak fingers dropped his phone onto the couch, where its imposing glow captivated him. He stared at it, trying to take in bucketfuls of air through his nose.

The white burn of the screen hurt, but he couldn’t look away from the mess of call logs.

“Genji?”

Jesse was looking at him now, he could feel it. He blinked. “Hanzo just called me.”

“What?” The response was instantaneous. “How did he even get your number?” He abandoned his worksheet, pencil rolling over the printout, and turned full-body on the couch to face Genji.

Genji shook his head. “I don't know. I don't even know what he wanted.” He poked at the device with his forefinger. It had gone to sleep. Its black screen betrayed just how often Genji used it, dragged fingerprints visible against the darkness. It looked innocent, like it hadn’t just punched a hole through Genji.

Maybe Hanzo somehow found his number through his online accounts or the apps he used. He wouldn't be surprised if Hanzo had the means to track him. That meant the rest of the family could too.

His mouth became a flat line.

“What the fuck?” The vitriol in Jesse’s voice caught Genji by surprise. “What could he _possibly_ need from you?”

That was all anger that he inherited from Genji. It was sweet of him to be angry on Genji's behalf. Genji expelled a lungful of captured air harshly out his nose. “I… maybe my family wants me back now?”

The air was so heavy all of a sudden. Its weight ached in his chest. He didn't know how to do this. Of course, he thought extensively about what he would say - especially in the middle of the night or when boring classes gave him time to daydream - but in the face of reality, nothing appealed to him.

“Will you call him back?”

“No.” It left his mouth before he even considered the question. Did he want to talk to his family ever again? There wasn't a reason to.

But Hanzo…

Genji looked down at his phone again, one of his fingers still vibrating from viscerally slamming the _end_ button. It was like a staring contest - either Genji would break first or the phone would. His mind screamed _how dare he_ , over and over, but still… “Well.” He whispered. “Um, go without me. I have to think for a while.” He put his worksheet in his folder with zombified movements.

“You sure? We could put him on speaker. I could back you up.”

It sounded like Jesse was getting riled up for a fight. Genji sniffle-laughed despite himself at the image of Hanzo answering a call only for an angry cowboy to curse him out on the other side. Lingering adrenaline slowly trickled away, and he sagged. “I think I’ll be alright. But…” He looked down. “Thanks. I’ll let you know what happens.”

He sat in silence until Jesse patted his shoulder kind of awkwardly and left to go shopping.

There wasn’t a lot of incentive to call Hanzo back. They had been brothers only in name for some years now. They were closer once, but after father’s death, life gripped Hanzo like a dying animal in its claws and did not let go. Soon he was travelling for school and business, running from obligation to social event and rarely back home. All he did before now was reprimand Genji; nothing to the extent of how he followed along with their mother that night. Even in the distance between them, he had thought that Hanzo’s words were from misplaced worry for him, but the last time he saw Hanzo, things seemed different.

So the call must be a chore their mother gave Hanzo, right?

But what if it’s not?

A considerable amount of energy was spent swallowing down the lump that suddenly formed in his tight throat. Hanzo let him be kicked out. He barely spoke to Genji for years and the first time they saw each other in months, it was to drag him back home to the place they both hated. There were a lot of reasons to block the number, delete any trace of it in his history, and just move on.

But Genji missed him.

There was a part of Genji that was angry - an all-consuming anger that burned what it touched. It would be very easy to ignore that this happened, or even add it to the long list of things to be angry about. Who calls someone months after he passively let them be kicked out without anywhere to go?

But Genji wasn't blind. Hanzo looked so tired the last time they saw each other. He seemed helpless. A bit lost. And he wasn’t like that before, so depleted and yet so tense. When he put those bags in Genji’s hands, it was robotic.

It was not Hanzo, or at least, the Hanzo he knew.

And a small, young, scared part of Genji missed his brother so goddamn much, missed him even before Hanzo actually moved out. He missed the food Hanzo used to make and the way he would turn a blind eye to Genji’s dumb midnight escapes to friends’ houses and the arcade. How he would take care of Genji when Genji was sick, and even occasionally went to the arcade with him before school and work bogged him down. He would say he was just keeping an eye on his little brother, but the small smile on his face as he watched Genji play told otherwise.

Genji hadn’t talked to Hanzo in months, but he hadn’t _really_ talked to Hanzo in many more. He wouldn't know what the call was for unless he called back. And he could always just hang up.

Before he could back out, he forced himself to pick up the phone, find the number that had just called him, and return it. Whoever was on the other side picked up immediately.

“Genji?” It was Hanzo again. He sounded hoarse.

Straining his voice so that he didn’t lose control of it and either cry or scream, Genji simply asked, “What do you want?”

A long pause. “I want to make things right. If you do not want to talk, I will understand.” His brother sounded - reserved, maybe, or resigned.

“What the hell, Hanzo?” That wasn't Genji's plan, but it was what happened.

Before Hanzo could respond more than some vague noise, Genji pushed on.

“You watched all that happen and did nothing. Honestly, I thought better of you. You didn’t even make sure I had somewhere to stay.” His voice was rising, and in the back of his mind, he was grateful Jesse’s siblings weren't home. “You're an asshole, but I thought you wouldn't do… _that_.”

A static-y “Genji -” came out.

“Is this call just to get me to come back to that shitty house? It's mother's idea, isn't it?”

“Mother is not involved.” Hanzo was stern and final even over the scratchy phone service.

Genji stopped, blinking, thoughts wiped blank. “...No?”

“I do not speak to her anymore. We have stopped communicating.”

In the end, Genji’s anger was brighter, but his mourning was bigger. He wanted a brother again. Or, at the very least, some sort of explanation.

“What happened?”

\--

The screen door clattered open and shut.

“Genji?”

“Hey.”

Genji rocked back and forth on the homemade swing, the tips of his toes pushing him in precise motions, sneaker toes making small imprints in the dirt. He was looking down at the phone sitting in his lap, surface reflecting the bare tree branches and sky above him. When the call was over, he had shut his phone off completely. He didn’t really know why.

“How’d it go?”

Genji wasn’t looking up, but he could hear Jesse crossing the frosted backyard grass and coming closer to him.

“I’ll… let you know soon. I want to go inside now.” His hands were cold, white knuckles clutching the swing ropes.

“C’mon, you can help me put food away.”

Genji got up and followed Jesse, the winter wind whipping by them both before they reached the heated indoors.

They entered the kitchen through the back door and worked in silence, saving the plastic bags for the mega-nest hidden under the sink. Michael and Sophia were being picked up by Joanna, so there was no pattering of feet or children shouting to interrupt them. Genji put all the apples in the collective fruit bowl, and then stopped, now-empty hands resting on the counter next to the used plastic bag.

“Those apples are mighty interestin’.”

“Are they?”

Even though Genji wasn’t looking, he could imagine Jesse’s shrug.

“I dunno, I mean, the way you’re starin’ at ‘em, I’d assume so.”

Genji merely sighed under his breath and swiped the bag off the counter, opening a cabinet door and shoving it in to join its plastic brethren. He then stood and leaned back on the counter. They didn't make eye contact. He crossed his arms and looked down at the somewhat warped hardwood under his feet.

“So?” Jesse prodded, abandoning his half-empty grocery bag.

“Hanzo has cut ties with our mother.”

“Oh.”

Genji nodded slowly. “He has his own apartment now, and quit my family’s business.” He picked at his hands. “Of course, without our family’s funds, the school he was attending is now unaffordable, and, well… yeah.” There was some hope in Hanzo’s voice about transferring credits to another institution. A cheaper one.

“Did he even mention what happened?”

“He apologized. A lot. And… I believe him.”

Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “You sure?”

There was so much distrust in Jesse’s face. Genji laughed a bit even though his own trust in his brother was new and almost non-existent. “Yes. No need to worry, _dad_. But, ah, and I don't know if this will happen or not…”

“You don’t have to tell me everything.”

Genji shook his head. It was nice, Jesse’s insistence on Genji’s privacy, and it made the decision coming up that much harder, because he would be leaving security behind. “No, it’s just… he offered me a place to stay. With him.”

_“Oh.”_ A different ‘oh' from before. One Genji didn't really understand.

He finally looked up, but he couldn't read Jesse’s eyes either.

“When?”

Genji shrugged. “Whenever I can. I was thinking… maybe after senior year is over.”

“That’s pretty far off, pumpkin.”

There it was again. ‘Pumpkin.’ Did Jesse want to kill him?

“I’d say I’m a cucumber at best.”

“Ha, what?” Came Jesse’s sputtering laugh.

“You know, the hair and all.” He had used that coupon from Christmas as soon as possible, and now had a full head of green hair again, thank God. “But yeah.” It was only January. Almost half a year would have to pass before any actual moving would take place. “I would have to go to a different school if I moved in with him now, though, and that is… work.” And he would move away from his friends and Jesse, but that part went unsaid.

“Well, whatever you choose, we’re here to help, y’know.” Jesse finally slid out of his serious-conversation arms-crossed leaning-back position against the wall, picking a few cans of soup out of one of the last bags. The BAMF belt buckle - he had worn it to the store, which… no comment - flashed as it reflected the kitchen lights. “It’s up to you.”

“Thanks, Jesse.”

They finished up without speaking. Despite the positive ending to the conversation, Genji felt oddly queasy as he grabbed his backpack off the living room couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :~)


	11. Chapter 11

“Angie still out?”

Angela hadn’t taken kindly to the nickname at first, but somehow Jesse’s charm swayed her. Right now the name wasn’t said in teasing, but in genuine concern. Cafeteria chatter threatened to overwhelm Jesse’s question as trays clattered and students held loud conversations at other tables.

Fareeha sighed, pushing around food on her plastic lunch tray, glancing at the empty spot at the table where Angela would usually be making some wise comment. “Yeah, still home sick. I keep telling her to take it easy, but she won’t listen.”

“Damn. I feel real bad for her,” Jesse said, but the sentiment was a tad muffled by the loud _pop_ of a previously-unopened chip bag between his hands.

“I know. Missing a class for her must be torture, and it’s been three days,” Genji added solemnly. “Isn’t test preparation happening right now?” Didn’t that usually happen around April? He wouldn’t know, not exactly being one of the most hardworking students. Angela took a lot of AP courses during her senior year to bring a few final extra credits into college with her. It would definitely look fantastic on paper, but that didn’t take into consideration how healthy of an idea that kind of schedule actually was. She never had the best track record with pacing herself.

“Yeah. I guarantee she’s studying right now, but she really shouldn’t be. She hasn’t been listening to me though. She’s just going to make herself feel worse like this.” Fareeha stuck a fork forcefully into her tasteless school-made carrots, messy ponytail swaying with the motion. Frustration showed in her face. Angela never missed school.

“Well, why don’t we go pay her a visit? Make sure she’s alright?” Jesse offered. “D’you think her parents would care?”

“I mean, they are very nice people,” Genji answered. “I don’t know. Fareeha, do you think it would be a good idea?”

“I really like it, actually. We could make her, like, a care package or something. Unless you guys have shit to do after school.”

Both boys shook their heads, Genji subtly reaching over for one of Jesse’s chips and earning a slap across the hand.

“Awesome. Don’t text her or anything, she’ll just tell us not to come. It’s alright for us to just show up, I’ve done it before.”

“Alright. So what should we bring her?” Genji asked.

“Well…”

* * *

It was kind of weird that this was the first time Fareeha had been to Jesse’s house. Its walls were so familiar to Genji now that knowing this was all new to her was sort of disconcerting, like two different worlds colliding. His jaw tightened when he saw her gaze sweep over his floor mattress in the living room.

“Now, I’m no tea drinker…” Jesse said it like it was a sin, and Genji suppressed a laugh as he and Fareeha were lead into the kitchen. “But I know my ma has a whole stash up here for colds n’ shit.” He stood up on a footstool to reach one of the higher cabinets and fished down a box of a few packets, stepping back down to the floor. “And yeah, it ain’t exactly a cold, but God knows Angie needs to fucking relax.”

Fareeha nodded. “Do you need our help? You’re already lending a lot…” Her guilt was audible. Jesse had offered to provide for the “care package” as it were, but it was obvious that she still felt bad.

“Uh… how about you grab some water bottles from the fridge?”

While they were talking, Genji slipped away to the closet where all the spare bedding was kept. Its door creaked when Genji opened it. He looked over the stack of folded blankets and pulled down a soft, white fake-fur one. It had reminded him of her for some reason.

When he went back into the kitchen, Fareeha was holding a few plastic disposable water bottles, and Jesse was holding onto the tea. “Alright, I think that’s everything,” Jesse determined.

“Wait, do you have a piece of copier paper?”

“Uh, sure, why?”

He got her a piece, and she folded it into an amateur card.

“I was thinking we could write something nice.” She grabbed a pen from the kitchen counter and hovered in indecision. “Uh, I have no idea what to write, though.”

“She’s your girlfriend, what would you say to her?” Genji said.

“Hm… don’t...” She put the pen to the paper. “Don’t push yourself. Feel better soon.” She added a miniscule, precise heart and her name.

Genji held out his hand at her pen, and wrote “get some sleep!” below her message. When Jesse had his turn, he drew a stick figure wearing a cowboy hat, and argued that Angela would see the value in it even though it wasn’t words.

* * *

“Hi, Mr. Ziegler. Is Angela here?”

Angela’s dad looked surprised at the three teenagers at his doorstep. “Well…” He rubbed his neck. “Yes, but she’s not feeling the best right now.”

“Yeah, we know. We came to help her feel better.”

“Oh, that’s very nice of you. She’s in her bedroom right now, if you want to go see her.”

All three thanked the man and filed inside, immediately weaving through the spacious living room and up the dark wooden stairs, approaching Angela’s bedroom door. Fareeha gave it a solid pair of knocks.

“Sorry, I’m still busy, mom,” a tired, croaky Angela called back through the door.

“Angela, it’s me.” Fareeha paused. “And Jesse and Genji.”

Silence for a moment, and then the door opened. Angela had unfortunate rings under her eyes. Her look of surprise was weak. “Why in the world are you guys here? I mean, of course it’s nice to see you, but...”

Jesse lifted up the objects they had brought. “We wanted to make sure you were takin’ care of yourself, Angela.”

“Oh.” There was an odd tension in her smile. “Thanks so much, guys. You didn’t need to do that.”

“Wait,” Fareeha said. She peered around Angela into the bedroom. Angela’s room was pristine, with a light color palette and very little clutter, save for her bed. Across her bedspread was an academic minefield of notebooks, study guides, and pencils. Fareeha eyed the nest with suspicion. “Angela, have you been studying this whole time? You’re sick.”

Angela sighed. “I -”

“Nope, come on.” Fareeha guided her to her bed. “What in the world are you doing?”

Angela sat down at the edge of her bed, hands frantic when she threw them into the air. Her face was strained with stress. “I know, but I just can’t help it. AP tests are coming up soon and I can’t be missing so many days like this.”

“But this stress will only make you sicker! Angela…”

Fareeha stopped. Angela’s shoulders had started to shake with quiet sobs. Fareeha deflated. She could only grab Angela’s hand and rub a thumb across her knuckles.

“Are you okay?” Genji asked without confidence, hovering some distance behind Fareeha and next to Jesse. He held the makeshift card in his hand and had to keep from worrying it with his fingers.

“No!” Angela sputtered loudly. The following silence was sharp. She sighed, scrubbing her face with a hand. “I’m sorry… I just - I just can’t… there’s so much to do and I can’t fail. I can’t.” More cries disturbed her frame. It was like something collapsed within her.

Even though Genji never saw Hanzo cry even when they were both young, the picture in front of him felt like familiar nostalgia for something that never happened. This could be Hanzo, if he ever decided to open up. He had seemed to take every ounce of pressure in stride, judging all who couldn’t do the same, but he also never actually talked about anything. Genji’s heart ached for both his friend and his family, though estranged. Angela wouldn’t end up like Hanzo, though. She was surrounded by too much compassion.

“Hey. Hey,” Fareeha whispered, inexperienced, attempting to soothe. She sat down with her girlfriend and wrapped an arm around her. “You will make it through. No matter what. Okay? You just have to rest a bit first.”

Genji stood back. He didn’t know how to really do this. He was getting better, but feelings had been foreign at home. It was like being handed a scrambled Rubik’s Cube for the first time. Where to start? Jesse, however, leapt into action, gently putting down everything but the blanket and walking up to the two girls to wrap the blanket around Angela. Genji pushed down a wave of nauseating alienation and followed in Jesse’s footsteps.

“You’re smart, y’know. You can do this. And if you can’t, it won’t affect our opinion of you at all,” Jesse assured softly. “I’m gonna go make you tea, okay? Just relax.”

As Jesse picked the tea box off the ground and left down the stairs, Genji crouched beside the girls and looked for words in the blue squares of fabric that made up Angela’s comforter as her tears silently continued. “I would say, take a page out of my book and drop some fucks. It’s healthy.” Genji wasn’t the most comforting person, but he would do it as best as he possibly could.

Thankfully, it worked some. Angela let out a little teary snort. “Thanks. I’m clearly holding onto too many if I’m this worked up.”

“ _And_ if you’re still doing homework instead of letting your body rest while you're sick,” Fareeha added sternly.

“Well…”

Fareeha gave her a pointed look, and eventually she conceded.

“I… you’re right. I know I should be resting.”

Just then, Jesse came back in with a warm mug of tea. “This’ll help you some.”

Fareeha stood decisively. She had regained some of her bearings. “Give me all this stuff. You don’t need it right now.” She collected everything on Angela’s bed and placed it in a haphazard pile on the floor at the foot of the bed. Then she came back to grab the edges of the blanket and pull them tighter around her girlfriend, earnest concern in her eyes.

Angela looked like she had half a mind to protest, but still, she merely pulled the blanket around her more and accepted the mug Jesse practically forced into her hands.

“You need to take care of yourself. We hear it enough from you, you gotta follow your own advice,” Jesse admonished. “Don’t crack open a book ‘till you’re back to school or I’ll kill you.”

“...Thanks?”

“And drink water,” Genji added, tossing all of the water bottles up on the bed, making Angela laugh. Finally. He handed her the card then, and even though it was silly and simple, the gratitude in Angela’s eyes stunned him.

Angela needed her friends right now.

Genji didn’t want to think about it, but maybe Hanzo needed someone too.

* * *

Jesse: r u studying rn angie

Angela: Noooo

Genji: Is that the truth???

Angela: Yes!!!

Angela: [picture of her blanket-covered legs and a laptop open, playing _Scrubs_ on Netflix]

Angela: is2g I’m relaxing. This blanket is super comfy, tysm

Jesse: im glad :’)))

Fareeha: I FUCKIN LOV SCRUBS

Fareeha: *drives very quickly to your house* im here because im your girlfriend, not because i want to use your netflix account to watch scrubs for 243 hrs

Angela: I’m glad to know you’re with me for me, Fareeha [laughing emoji x2]

Genji smiled down at his phone, but it was short-lived. He had something to say, he just didn’t know how to say it.

It would definitely be easier to just avoid the problem altogether. The idea had been rolling around in his head for a couple months now. In that time, he and Hanzo had texted and called a few times. They were some of the most awkward conversations of Genji’s life, mostly because Hanzo spoke like his words were clumsy threats in a minefield. It was clear that something fundamental had changed within his brother. It still took a lot of thought on Genji’s end and a few anger-filled imaginary conversations in his head to get past worst-case scenario imaginings, residual bitterness, and anything else that would have affected his decision-making.

Once all that was sorted, Hanzo genuinely wanted to be better to him, from what Genji could understand. And Genji genuinely wanted to fix whatever the hell their relationship had atrophied into over the years.

Genji: Hey.

Fareeha: wh?

Angela: ya

Jesse: ?

Genji: I thought about this a lot and Hanzo offered this to me and well. I think I’m going to move in with him after the school year ends.

Fareeha: genji ily and trust your decisions but uhhhhhhh are you sure

Fareeha: doesn’t he live a continent away

Fareeha: and also suck

Angela: The city is like 2 hrs away Fareeha lmao

Genji: I appreciate the concern for real

Genji: But we’ve talked a lot and I think it’s a good idea.

Fareeha: if you say so, i’ve got your back

Angela: Just do what you feel is best Genji. And keep us updated!!!

Wood flooring groaned from someone’s weight just out of Genji’s range of vision. He adjusted himself on his mattress to be able to see Jesse, who had just come into the living room, clearly about to go to bed if his pajamas were any indication.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Genji responded.

Jesse took that as an invitation to approach Genji’s bed and sit down on the floor next to him. “Listen…” He paused, pulling at a loose thread on his sweatpants. “You’re sure it’ll be safe, livin’ with your brother?” The sun had already set, leaving a sole standing lamp as the only light softly illuminating both of them.

Jesse looked warm, or soft, or… boyfriend-shaped, if that made any fucking sense. The sight made Genji’s heart constrict. He huddled a little further into his blanket, trying to find the words. “How he acted that night… It was not him. I mean, I don’t know if I know him anymore, but I want to try.”

Jesse looked down. “Well, as long as you’re sure.”

“He’s all alone right now, except for me. I want to make sure he’s alright. I think living together again would be good for him.”

Their eyes met, and the worry in Jesse’s face would have knocked Genji flat if he weren’t already lying down. “But would it be good for you?”

Genji bit his lip. He didn’t know for sure, but he did know some things. “I miss my brother. And I want to get to know him for real again. We could support each other. It could be… good. And I want to give him the chance.”

They were both quiet, chewing on each other’s words. Genji stared at the faded ceiling, his mind grinding. “Wouldn’t you do the same?” He said, slowly and softly. “If Michael or Sophie got away from you like that? Try to reach them again?”

“I’d do anything.” Jesse muttered, rubbing his arm in thought. “I think I know where you’re comin’ from now. I know… I know I said it was up to you, and it is. But I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

It hurt in an odd way to have this conversation, to know how Jesse cared. “If I do this, and something bad happens… you’ll be the first to know.” Genji had to restrain the wish to pull his hand out from under the covers and place it atop Jesse’s, which absolutely burned him to abstain from.

Jesse nodded, no longer making eye contact. “Okay. I jus’ wanted to talk to you about that. Saw your text an’ all.” He pushed himself up. “I’ll go to bed now.”

“Have a good night, Jesse, okay?” It felt important to say.

“You too. Night.”

Jesse crept back to his room. Genji stared up at the ceiling again.


	12. Chapter 12

It took far too long for today to come.

Sighing, Genji ran a hand down the night-colored button-down shirt once more. The neon green tie was a joke. _At first_. To match his hair and whatnot. But looking at it now… he really, really liked it. He had to buy all-new dress clothes with his own money; none of his old flashy finely-tailored shirts and dress pants made it in the bag he was packed when he left home. Jesse had come shopping with him, mostly to try and convince him to buy ugly shit, but when they had found these particular pieces of clothing, it was thumbs-up all around. The untailored general button-down had a subtle pattern of charcoal stripes atop the black. The cheap-ish pair of pants was hard to differentiate between navy and plain black, and the shoes pinched only slightly at his pinky toes. It was all solid, celebratory, real. All bought by him, to impress no one but himself.

He slipped on the black graduation gown, making sure the tassel on the cap was secure, reluctant to zip it up yet due to the June sun.

Someone banged on the bathroom door. Jesse’s muffled voice came through. “Did you fall into the toilet or something?”

Genji only smiled. He opened the door. Jesse was already ready to go in a dark red dress shirt with the very top button unbuttoned, maroon nail polish, no tie, graduation gown also unzipped. Genji had expected him to force Genji out of the bathroom right away, or crack a dumb joke, but instead Jesse just mirrored his smile.

“I’m really proud of you, y’know.” The words were quiet, but they reached Genji all the same.

“...You have no idea how much that means to me.” Genji was only supposed to cry after they had all collected their diplomas, damn it. It wasn’t a gushing faucet, but it was a threat of a leak for sure. He tried to justify himself. “I just… it’s been… life’s been weird for a few months.”

“Hey, I know. I know how it’s been.” His voice was smooth, reassuring.

They hugged, undoubtedly wrinkling their gowns a bit, but who really cared? In an alternate universe, Genji’s mother would have made sure Genji looked immaculate for his graduation, and then promptly ignored him for the entire evening. This was so much better.

“You look great!” Jesse said when they broke apart. “I know you were joking about the tie, but it was a good choice, I’m not kiddin’.”

“Thank you.” Genji felt his face heat up at the words. “You look good too. No tie?”

“Nah. I feel like I’m chokin’ in ‘em.”

“Fair enough.”

“D’you think they’ll let me just put the tassel on my Stetson somehow?”

“Jesse. That’s stupid.”

They argued the idea as they made their way out to the car.

* * *

Graduation was a lot of waiting. Genji made sure to cheer like hell whenever his friends were called, but otherwise it was slightly awkward small talk with the guys that the school ambiguously grouped him with by height. The sea of caps and school colors was almost overwhelming under the bright blue sky, relatives - pairs and trios and entire families - dotting the benches of the stadium. A breeze was running in the air. Genji pulled down on his buttoned shirt cuffs.

Eventually his row reached its turn to line up at the stage. Time stretched along, worn out by boredom. Even so, it wasn’t much of a problem. This day was already so, so much better than Genji had imagined it to be. He could enjoy the breeze and the good weather without the headache of his blood relatives, which was a blessing in and of itself.

“Genji Shimada.”

The last name didn’t even make him wince anymore. He was on top of the world when he shook a few peoples’ hands and posed with the diploma.

In the various crowds of students and loved ones, his mother and other relatives were nowhere to be found. Hanzo wasn’t there either, but for a different reason - he was too new at his new workplace to take off. They had a long conversation about it, guilt coloring Hanzo’s voice. That made Genji’s heart ache now. But his mother? She was absent out of her own free will. That was what stabbed him the most acutely, a sharp pain as he looked out at the crowd. He could imagine it, his mother instructing uncles and aunts not to come, and them all nodding without dissent.

But it only hurt for a moment.

Instead, he heard the cheers of his real family. Joanna and the McCree kids were shouting somewhere. Jesse was yelling like an idiot, he could tell. Fareeha and Angela had somehow managed to sit next to each other and were both standing, hands raised in applause. Sombra had even shown up for the four of them, clapping in the sidelines. It was so much more than what this moment used to look like in his head. So much fuller. So less marked by dread.

And then he was walking off the stage and sitting back down, and then it was over.

* * *

When the graduates were finally let loose, Genji immediately ran up to Jesse in the middle of the school parking lot, wrapping his arms around him with giddy laughter. Nerves be damned, his happiness couldn’t be contained.

Jesse reeled back, immediately returning the hug with the prettiest laugh Genji had ever heard.

“We did it!” Genji exclaimed. “Holy shit, we did it.”

They parted but still kept close, shoulders touching.

“High school is over!” Genji shouted. No more mandatory eight-hours-a-day curriculums, no more painful assemblies, no more phantom feelings of his mother breathing down his neck.

“Yeah!” Jesse whooped. His button-down was slightly mussed, hair askew from tossing up the cap that had been taming it, gown sleeves unceremoniously pushed up to his elbows.

“Jesse! Genji!” Came a woman’s shouts. Joanna ran up to them, Michael and Sophia in tow. She immediately pulled Jesse into a strong embrace. “I’m so proud of you. Really. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Jesse murmured, returning the tight hug.

She pulled away and tsked. “You didn’t wear a tie? Somehow I’m not surprised.”

Their laughter drifted over to Genji, who watched with a small smile. The sky was darkening now, the heat of the day leaving the air. Soon enough, him and Jesse would get back in the car and go home.

_Home_.

More change was coming soon. Genji allowed himself not to think about it tonight.

Joanna turned to Genji, and to his surprise, hugged him as well. “Don’t think I’m not proud of you too,” she told him quietly before pulling away. “You’re always welcome under my roof.”

Oh, there’s the tears. Right on time. He tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming. A warm arm wrapped around his shoulder - Jesse’s. Its weight was so comforting.

He had never cried of happiness before he moved in with the McCrees.

“I love you both, you know that? I love you a lot,” Joanna assured, emotion undercutting her voice.

“Does this mean we can get McDonald’s?” Sophia’s high pitch interrupted.

Emotional laughter came out of all three of them. “Yes, sweetheart,” Joanna smiled. “Come on, everyone, we’re going to McDonald’s.”

* * *

He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but Genji made the executive decision to sleep in his dress pants. They were his, he bought them, so they could be pajama pants if he wanted to. It was late, but after the events of the day, he felt strangely energetic, too awake to go to bed just yet. Nevertheless, he was trying, settling down into bed and turning out all the lights. It would be nice to follow Jesse’s example. Somehow he had collapsed into immediate sleep in bed the second he had changed into sweatpants and a shirt. Genji wished he could do the same.

Just as he was about to plug his phone in for its overnight charge, it vibrated in his hand from a phone call.

_Hanzo_ , the contact read.

He swiped answer. “Hey,” he whispered. It was all summer-night dark around him, where there was just enough nighttime light to know he was looking up at the edge where wall met ceiling.

“Hello.” It was a tired greeting. Hanzo was weighed down by exhaustion, Genji could tell. And yet he called Genji at this hour anyways. “I saw the pictures you sent. You look good. Very happy.”

Genji had sent him a selfie he took with Jesse while they were at McDonald’s, still in their gowns, accompanied by the text ‘Grad was fun. :)’ He had also sent a picture Joanna had taken of when he was accepting his diploma. “Thanks,” he smiled.

“I just wanted to congratulate you,” Hanzo continued. “You were looking forward to this, I assume.”

“Definitely.”

“I bet it was even better without our mother in the picture.” Hanzo’s smile could be heard in his voice.

“Haha, yeah. I remember when you graduated. Everyone was so angry at each other for just existing. I mean, for appearances everyone looked super under-control, but we were _not_ very happy.” It was easier to laugh at now that it was in the past. Genji wished that he could have convinced Hanzo to unwind at McDonald’s after _his_ high school graduation.

“Well, I am now. My only regret is that I could not be there to support you in person.”

“Hanzo, it’s okay, it’s just high school,” Genji found himself reassuring.

“No. I wish I had been there. I wanted to. I’m sorry.”

“I… I know.” Genji swallowed. “Thanks. Just the fact that you called… it means a lot.”

There was silence on the other end for a moment.

“Hanzo?” Genji said.

“...I want us to really be brothers this time.”

“Me too.”

“I have to go to bed, Genji, I’m sorry. We’ll… I will text you.”

“Please do.”

“I am excited to see you on Sunday.”

“I’m excited too. Have a good night, Hanzo.”

“You too, brother.” With that, he hung up.

Genji stared at his screen for a moment. Having conversations like these were previously unheard of for them, or at least so long ago as to have been lost to time. He plugged his charger in and curled his arms around his pillow, emotions whirling uncomfortably in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut. He’d have to try to get at least a few hours of sleep tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to both the most self-indulgent and the longest thing I've ever written. woohoo
> 
> title is from Synesthesia by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness!
> 
> I set this in PA so that I didn't have to pretend to know anything about any other state lol.


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